z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Society Teaches and Negative Promotions

by GreenTulip


Society Teaches

Today’s society teaches young girls,
how to live by the rules that govern lives.
How to act, how to eat, how to live.

Girls sacrifice their individuality,
to become like the girl that sits beside them.

 Today’s girls aren’t taught what is right,
not like twenty years ago.
Today, these girls, are taught-
that to be popular you need to be thin as a rail,
being a size too large is to lose a chance in life.

 Today’s girls, drive to be like Barbies.
Super thin, and made up like dolls.
Destroying their bodies,
just to be stand unseen in a crowd of “Barbies”.

Today’s society teaches girls,
that thin is the way to go.
Today’s society is slowly changing.	
They are showing that bigger,
isn’t always bad.

Today’s society, needs to change,
how girls view themselves.
Being thin or larger than one another,
shouldn’t make a difference.

They should see that only personality,
is what matters the most.
Size and shape will never determine who you are.

  Today’s society teaches young girls,
 how to live by the rules that govern lives.
  How to act, how to eat, how to live.
  Girls sacrifice their individuality,
 to become like the girl that sits beside them.



But this needs to end, right now and everywhere.

Negative Promotions

 From the youngest child, up to the eldest young adults-
society promotes an image of what they should be.

 Girls, it teaches, that being large-  is not healthy.
Thin. Thin. Thin.
Never be at the size they should be at.
Don’t eat. Puke after meals.	
Be like supermodels- be skinny as a rail.

 For Girls, Today they drive to be like Barbie dolls.
Dangerously underweight, and having enough
make-up on to look plastic.
Destroying their bodies,
just to be stand unseen in a crowd of “Barbies”.

 Boys, it teaches, that you have be big and strong.
Muscles. Muscles. Muscles.
Use steroids- get the muscle mass needed.
Weight lift most days, push themselves to the breaking point.

 From the youngest child, up to the eldest young adults-
society promotes an image of what they should be.
Boys and Girls, do not listen to what they say.
Lies and brainwashing is what lays behind  their words.

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17 Reviews

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Reviews: 17

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EllaBliss wrote a review...



BamItzElla! I am here to critique your exquisite poetical piece, named "Society Teaches".

Today’s society teaches young girls,
how to live by the rules that govern lives.
How to act, how to eat, how to live.
Girls sacrifice their individuality,
to become like the girl that sits beside them.


Beginning at the introductory paragraph of the poem, you had me sitting on the perimeter of my chair. The whole poem was breathtaking, and even more so as it is, in point of fact, correct! This is a genuine piece of work, and I became aware of no errors. Good job!

~

Aand... Ella's also here to evaluate your magnificent poem, titled "Negative Promotions". Alright then, let me get to work. This poem, as same as the last one, is completely astounding! I found no mistakes in it. These two poems will be among my favorites!




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Iggy wrote a review...



Hi!

Okay, so first off, you need to debold the poem. All of it, save for the title. It's distracting and you just never bold stuff in literary titles, unless it's a title. You can read more about why here

Now, onto the review~

Today’s girls, aren’t taught what is right,


Remove that comma after "girls."

being a size too large is too lose a chance in life.


Should be "to."

Today’s girls, drive to be like Barbie dolls.


Remove that comma after "girls."

Today’s girls, drive to be like Barbie dolls.
Super thin, and made up like a doll.


The repetition of "dolls" is a bit boring.. change it up!

Girls, it teaches, that being large- is not healthy.


That hyphen isn't really necessary, so you should cut it out.

Be Supermodel thin- be skinny as a rail.


Supermodel doesn't need to be capitalized, since it's not a proper noun. Also, consider using a different simile. You've already used "as a rail" in the first poem, so find a different way to compare things.

For Girls, Today they drive to be like Barbie dolls.


Neither "girls" nor "today" need to be capitalized. Since poetry can defy capitalization rules, you could keep it like that, but I think it would better if it wasn't capitalized. Just my opinion.

Lies and brainwashing is what lays behind their words.


Should be "lies."


Okay, so. Nice poem(s)! I like the way you captured society and how society can warp the teenagers and how pressured girls and boys feel to look perfect.

I'm glad you brought in the boys at the end of the second poem. Most of this was only about girls and I felt that you were taking more of a bias tone towards them. Guys do have similar and equal image issues as girls do, though some are better at hiding it than most.

One of my favorite things about this was the repetition of some stanzas and lines. I think you did a great job with using similes to compare girls and their weights so objects that are super thin; it helps give a better visual to the read. Overall, this was a nice poem to read and you did a good job with getting your point across!





Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna lay down and become a tomato for a while.
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