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Be my rock ❤

by GreenTulip

Where are you,

When I need you the most.

In my most troubling times,

I just dream of being held.

Give me a reason to protect.

Loving eyes to always cherish.

Let me love with my soul,

For it is only meant for you.

Give me your support and love,

Never leave me be troubled alone,

I am not good handling me demons.

I need you as my steadfast rock.

I love you always, dear.

It will never go away,

Always remember that.

I am here for you,

As you have always been.

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117 Reviews

Points: 11345
Reviews: 117

Wed Nov 02, 2016 5:04 am
Astronomer wrote a review...

Hello there, GreenTulip!
This is Moonwatcher here for a review! ^-^

(please be considerate and ignore any typos you may find, i'm on mobile and writing a mobile review is extremely difficult)

Very pretty title, love that emoji heart.

First thing is something very minor:

Where are you,
When I need you the most.

Again, small thing, but it bothers me that there's a period instead of a question mark, haha.

Give me a reason to protect.

I feel as if this line is very indirect. Protect what, what is there that needs to be protected?

Never leave me be troubled alone,
I am not good handling me demons.

I think you meant *let in the first line. As for the second line, I think you meant *my, not me, haha.

I feel that this poem is very repetetive when it comes to the aspects of love. Constantly throwing around love, over, and over again. I feel as if you're doing a lot of telling, but not enough showing. I'd go more in depth with your emotions, and add some imagery, which this poem seems to lack a lot of. Show the reader your emotions and feelings, and show them the power of your voice by using imagery.

The poem seems extremely choppy, and I'd suggest to try organizing your thoughts together a little better.

That's all I have to say about your poem; it certainly has potential. I hope my review helped you out, and have a great day! ^-^

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Points: 199
Reviews: 3

Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:48 am
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Venuschild wrote a review...

This is a sweet poem with a lot of potential! <3
The only thing it seems to be missing is imagery and a little typos that can be fixed unless it was on purpose for style reasons. Try to use imagery to describe how deep and passionate this love is. Also try to stay away from cliches that might make your poem redundant. By adding imagery you can create depth and give the reader all the emotion you are trying to portray in this poem. :)

GreenTulip says...

Aww, yes. I'm actually on my phone so I didn't notice! But thank you!

My existence is political. And love is my statement.
— Kevin Abstract