Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General

E - Everyone

I'm Fine

by Thisislegacy


I'm fine burns in the fire of my heart

and drowns in the ocean of my mind. 

I know you're gone 

and now I have to lie..

I'm fine. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
274 Reviews


Points: 22619
Reviews: 274

Donate
Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:12 pm
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi there my freind, sorry about that other thing so I am hear to do a nother review, so I think that this needs to be a bit longer don't you think, I'm fine burns in the fire of my heart this dos not make sens at all it is a bit con fousing to me, and now I have to lie.. just cass someone is gone dosent mean you hafe to lie at all, I'm fine. in this poem it sounds like she is not fine at all, so that is all that I can say about it keap up the good work. :D

from MoonFlower




User avatar
274 Reviews


Points: 22619
Reviews: 274

Donate
Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:03 pm
Dossereana says...



sorry that was a mess take




User avatar
62 Reviews


Points: 20
Reviews: 62

Donate
Mon Feb 12, 2018 5:03 pm
CorruptedArrow wrote a review...



Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you in any way, I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

Well then... I'm not sure if I can even do a review. But this was really good!

From what I can see you don't have any more grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.




User avatar
62 Reviews


Points: 2872
Reviews: 62

Donate
Mon Feb 12, 2018 4:52 pm
AliceinBluue wrote a review...



Hey hey hey! Gonna stop in real fast for a review right quick!

So I really liked your poem, like really REALLY liked it. The way you described the narrator being 'fine' by using two opposing elements (fire and water) shows how tumultuous they are feeling about having to lie. They can feel it burning them up, and they can feel it drowning them, and they are hurting. Really fantastic job of telling us how twisted up inside the narrator is about everything. Then you give us a bit of a peak into why the narrator is feeling this way. They have lost someone. We do not know if this person left of their own volition or if they were forced away by uncontrollable circumstances, but the narrator has lost them. We also do not know why the narrator feels like they have to lie about how they are feeling but man, is that 'I'm fine' lie relatable. Overall, I really feel like you got the story of your poem across in a fantastic way and I honestly love it so much. I don't really have any critiques for you! I just loved your poem so much!

I am positive that this is one of the poems I will come back to time and time again. I have read it at least five times now and I'm still not bored of it, and I can't wait to read it again and again and again and fall in love with it over and over. Thank you so much and keep up the amazing work!
-Alice





'Like' and 'equal' are two entirely different things.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time