Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Why did you do what you did?
You betrayed me, I was supposed to be able to trust you,
you broke my trust and now it is just a plate splattered all over the floor of my heart.
I want to know why I wasn’t important enough, that you did what you wanted to do all along.
Was I just a little bud of a flower when you needed a rose?
You were supposed to take care of me; I needed you to take care of me.
Why didn't you do what you were supposed to do?
It was your job to take care of me.
It was a promise you made... but your drugs are more important than your own kin aren't they?
You know what, I don’t need your answers because I know it’s all bullshit anyways.
I will never believe you anymore, you betrayed me and played my heart like a violin.
And I loved the music my pain made for you.
Ohana means family, and family means that no one gets left behind or forgotten.
But I will never forget you and what you did to me.
I will never leave you behind because you left me a long time ago.
You were never really there for me even though I am your own blood;
you left me such a long time ago for your drugs.
So I hope you get your fake happiness, that is what you deserve.
Fake happiness that will go away as soon as your high fades away.
You will end up alone, forgotten, unhappy,
addicted to something that never fills the void of everyone walking away because you were pushing them off a cliff.
And one day, there will be no one else to push so you will fall yourself.
You are afraid of the end,
the darkness that will eat you up as if you were nothing.
Because you are nothing, at least to me anymore.
I can’t leave you today but eventually I will walk out that door and I will finally say
“welcome home”.
_______________________________________________________________________________
A/N I wrote this a back in February (before certain events happened between people in my life) and this pretty much told the story of what happened between them. Tell me how to make this better and as always, if you have questions about the content you are free to message me about it. Legacy
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139,784 Literary Works • 672,764 Reviews
Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!
Well... This is extremely deep to say the least. However, I could see a few capital letters missing and one grammatical error near the beginning:
"your drugs are more important than your own kin isn’t it?" The 'isn't it' should be changed to 'aren't they'.
Apart from that, this is an amazing piece! The theme was used very effectively and the structure was unique and great!
I hope my review helped!
Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!
Well... This is extremely deep to say the least. However, I could see a few capital letters missing and one grammatical error near the beginning:
"your drugs are more important than your own kin isn’t it?" The 'isn't it' should be changed to 'aren't they'.
Apart from that, this is an amazing piece! The theme was used very effectively and the structure was unique and great!
I hope my review helped!
Thank you.
I edited the one thing you told me to. If you have any other recommendations or questions about content you can always tell me.
Hi there! Okay, a really good poem, love how the simplicity reaches the readers heart. The biggest problem I had was with this line;
"you broke my trust and now it is just a plate splattered all over the floor of my heart."
I would change some words, make a little more heart breaking. Maybe something like this;
"You ruined my trust, you broke it, now it is just dust on the floor of my heart." It's up to you, I just find "Plate splattered." a little awkward. It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the poem. That's all I saw. Keep writing!
Thank you.