Young Writers Society

Hi there Thisislegacy I love this by the way.

Thanks for sharing this poem concerning a relationship that feels like an emotional roller-coaster ride. The frustration is expressed by appealing to the aggressor's sense of justice. Unfortunately, people who take others on such emotional frustrating ups and downs are deficient in a normal sense of justice. Such a relationship can happen when one person claims to love and to care, draws the gullible trusting one in, and then calmly proceeds to show hatred by inconsiderate behavior.

In other words the person draws the other in and then pushes him or her away. As long as the victim believes the BS and is drawn in the roller coaster ride continues. The only one able to terminate it is the victim. The one keeping this show going is having fun at the others expense of feeling ill or nauseas and victimized.

Which is exactly what it is-victimization via lying ad feigning friendship or love while attempting to cut the other person's throat. In other words, to stop the roller-coaster scenario don't get on by cooperating. Leave the relationship. Begging is useless.

Hey, Thisislegacy! VegasLights here to give you a review!

I think your poem is beautifully written and is wonderful!I felt like I was on the emotional rollercoaster because of the way you worded it.

There was some repetition in your poem that messed up the flow. The last part of your poem didn't make sense.

"You should be apologizing." I feel this could be left out because to me it messes up the flow to. That is all I really noticed that could possibly be fixed.

Overall, I think your poem is really good and has a perfect theme that stayed constant through the poem. The imagery that I got from your poem was clear, and it only got blurry a few times. Sadly, all reviews must come to an end and here is the end of this one! I thank you for your time and I hope you have a great day!

xo. VegasLights
(Previously Steam1244)

Hi Emmy!

I really liked the emotional content and how you tried to beg in the poem - it made me feel like I was on a roller coaster ride.

I feel like you repeated the word "go" a little too much and tried a little too hard to rhyme sometimes coming in a little too late on the rhythm or a little bit after the beat.

Overall, it was a great poem and a fun way to get emotion across to readers.

Thank you!
Emmary

I decieded to swoop in for a review,

I love the theme of this poem and alwasy personally relate to anything having to do with mental health+ struggles. Throughout this poem I feel like I know the sensation of a rollercoaster without actually having to ride one.

If you want to make this poem better don't be predictable. The best rollercoasters are the ones that drop unexpectedly, so maybe you should try to be that in your poem. I want to be on the edge of my seat waiting for the next word. The emotion is there, try and use it to pursaude and manipulate your audience.

With affection, Amethyst <3

Good job. I've never actually been on a rollercoaster before.

Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!

Well. This is deep. Very deep. And very effective. You really made the theme of adolescence appear quite clearly in this and used it very well. I like how you used the concept of the life of a teenager being a rollercoaster. In my opinion, this piece is great already, however, better vocabulary could've made it even better.

I hope this review helped!

Hello there my name is pirateslife4me:

First off i would like to say that your title caught my attention right away so i give that a thumbs up.

Second off, your starter was amazing and i was so into it. I could feel all the emotion that was behind this tale.

Third i think the ending is what really shook me up because it seemed like, and correct me if i'm wrong but like a suicide note written to someone from this person's past.

Overall i think this is a great piece and i think you should continue and make a part 2 so i can find out what happens after they left. When or if you do make a part 2 tag me in it. I would love to know more.

Thank you for your amazing work.

Love pirateslife4me.