Young Writers Society

Bonjour Thisislegacy,

Je suis ici aujourd'hui pour revoir votre pièce intitulée 'Bonjour Le Monde'

Je veux juste dire que mon français n'est pas si bon que ça, je ne fais que vous embêter. Si vous pouvez comprendre jusqu'à ici, c'est vraiment impressionnant!

Bien que mon écriture ne soit pas si bonne

Il est difficile pour ceux qui ne parlent pas une autre langue de réviser un texte comme celui-ci, alors je pense que je vais revenir en arrière...

Ok, so if my translation is correct I can say that the poem is split my a contrast of opinions from the narrator, starting with a 'hello' to the world with negative comments towards people, and then a contrast with the final two stanzas.

Also as a side note reading through this. It's very impressive that you say you're learning the language when there are only a couple of minor issues wrong with the text. For that, you get the mark of approval and my respect!

Improvement GPS =>

'est' translates to is and you want to say 'are' -> où toutes les personnes sont perméables
But even then, this can be interpreted in two ways, so technically what you wrote does make sense.


That is some dedication.

Anyway, there isn't anything else I can really say to you apart from the ambition to try and write in another language is inspiring and unique, especially on here with people who can speak and write the language. I look forward to the end result of learning French, as well as any other pieces you write in another language. Short and straight to the point, keep it up!

PenmanshipPriority

This is really cool. I don't know much french (thank you Google translate) but I myself have writen spanish poems and I think it really cool to write in a different language sometimes. Awesome work

Coucou, Thisislegacy!
It’s great that you’re trying to experiment with writing in other languages. My friend and I were actually trying to write a short story in French, too. You know, to try and prove to ourselves that the B2 diploma of French we have (DELF) is worth something. After 12 years of receiving French and four years of intense practicing, maybe I can help you out a little. However, please don’t mind me at all, maybe I have the talent of a French toast—yes, that’s an English breakfast. Anywho, let’s get into the important details:
1. Yes, I absolutely loved the concept. I don’t know about you, but depressing, sad poems are always the ones that make me feel something. Yeah, you have people like Walt Whitman who cheer you up with their crafty poems such as the ones in Leaves of Grass—Song of Myself, specifically—but truth be told, we express the truth better in sad poems, and I think you did a wonderful job. So, content-wise, you’re good to go.
2. Remember how conjugation in French is always biting one in the butt while learning it. You’re using « toutes les personnes », which essentially means you’re talking about “them”, so the correct way of conjugating the verb “être” would be this: « où toutes les personnes sont un idiot » « où toutes les personnes sont perméables » (remember the s, because it’s plural) « où toutes les personnes sont agréables » « où toutes les personnes sont utiles »
Those are the ones that needed the verb agreement and conjugation. Otherwise, I think everything’s pretty neat.
C’est bien que tu es en train d’écrire dans une autre langue. Il faut pratiquer toujours pour ne l’oublier jamais. Le français est une langue unique, alors tu doit capturer son essence et le mettre dans tes histoires. Bon chance avec tes projets !
Salut!
I really hope I see more of you.
Sincerely, a so not French Writer1204!

From my knowledge of Spanish, Portuguese, Italian and Romanian, I understood this to be about two worlds. One in which everyone is happy and everything is ideal. That's the one that the poet says hello to. The other one which he says goodbye to is where everything is disagreeable.

This was without looking up any definitions.
How well did I do?

monde = mundo in Spanish = world in English
toutes= todas in Spanish = all in English
Bonjour = bon jiorno in Italian - good morning in English
personnes = personas in Spanish = persons in English
utile = util in Spanish = useful in English [utility]
ne = no in Spanish = doesn't in English
ester = estan in Spanish = are in English

BTW
I started writing Spanish poetry once at another website and soon was told that it wasn't acceptable because most people there were baffled.