I don't think I'm "happy",
but I know I'm not sad either.
It's a purgatory where I float,
the shallow end of the pool.
-
I'm half way there,
stuck in the middle.
Not quite a tug of war,
just small pushes in each direction.
-
I hate feeling neutral,
I would rather feel one way or the other.
I hate feeling so boring,
Like I've got nothing important to say.
-
If I'm sad at least I would have something to write about.
If I'm happy I would have no reason to write.
I'm stuck where my keyboard aches for me
but my tongue's caught.
-
I never knew it was hard to be happy,
it's so much work.
It's so much easier to fall back down,
stay in the sadness I tried so hard to leave.
-
Why do I have to try to stay happy,
why should I?
I hate washing all these pills down my throat,
I didn't think I would crave for the rollercoaster again...
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139,434 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
Hello, MomoandAppa here! this is a really good poem, and you are a great author! just a few things i wanted to say, so let's get started!!
one of the reasons i think this is good is because a lot people can relate to it. personally, I can't.
a question: Why do I have to try to stay happy,
why should I?
I hate washing all these pills down my throat, (this part is the question)
I didn't think I would crave for the rollercoaster again...
i didn't really understand the part about the pills. are you taking medications for something? and why are you craving for the rollercoaster? is it just to feel something, anything?
anyway, that's my review! i enjoyed reading this, so keep writing!!
Rollercoaster is referring to an older poem of mine (and the ups and downs of emotion), and yes I am on antidepressants. Hope this gives more clarification.
ok thanks for the confirmation
Hi! I just want to say that as someone who struggles with depression, I completely understood where you were coming from in this poem. The apathy and emptiness really are some of the worst parts of mental illness, and I'm sorry that you're going through it.
I do want to say, though, that in my experience it does get easier with time. There are ups and downs, and it's important to remember that nothing that you're feeling is ever wrong, even if the feeling is a lack of feeling. And no matter if you're feeling sad or happy or nothing at all, you're still you, and what you have to say is still important.
(Sorry if I veered a little too far into an "it gets better" preachy ramble, I know from experience that sometimes those are more annoying than helpful. I just want you to know that this poem really resonated with me! I've struggled with depression for a long time, and I hope that it'll get easier for the both of us <3)
Thank you.
Hello man! I really related to your poem, even though it's not exactly something good to relate to.
As someone who's dealing with depression, sometimes I feel like the sheer state of neutrality where you are not sad or bad, but also not necessarily happy to be nothing short of agonizing, and this poem expressed this feeling really well.
If there is something I'd point out, I would say it would be that the "half way" you wrote would actually be "halfway". But that I am qualified to point out, there's simply that.
I really enjoyed your poem, and I hope to see more of you
I've been writing on here for a long time so until I find the energy to write again you can read those lol.