Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
I am depression
when I can't sleep at night.
When I lay in my bed crying
until I can't breathe.
I try to hide you,
but I surrender.
When I am depression,
that is all I am.
-
I am anorexia
when I don't eat for 6 days.
When I love the hollow of an empty stomach,
and don't want the feeling to go away.
I try to hide you,
but I surrender.
When I am anorexia,
that is all I am.
-
I am anxiety
when I tear my fingernails.
When I talk quiet and
when I can barely think straight.
I try to hide you,
but I surrender.
When I am anxiety,
that is all I am.
-
I am multiple personality disorder
when I switch from myself
to someone else.
When I act different,
talk different,
walk and laugh different.
I try to hide you,
but I surrender
When I am multiple personality disorder,
that is all I am.
-
I am love
when I kiss your lips.
When I pull you closer,
and tell you my deepest secrets.
I don't hide you,
and I surrender.
When I am love,
that is all I am.
-
I am what I surrender to.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hey there. Kanome here with a review. Let's get started, shall we?
First off, this poem brings out a lot of emotion. What I got from it was sadness, hurt... And I feel really sad for the person or anyone for that matter who feel this way. Whoever is feeling this way, I wish I could really help them, speak to them and listen to their feelings.
Anywho, there isn't really much to critique on grammar or punctuation wise. So that's good, right?
Keep up the great work! I can't wait to read more of your writing. Keep writing and enjoy your day!
- Kanome
Thank you man, sorry I didn't answer sooner. I've been busy. I've got plenty of earlier works on here if you want to read those while I am working on another one.
Hello! Megan17 with a review! I really liked this poem. I could definitely feel the emotion you put into it which makes it that much more fun to read. I also liked how you added repeating lines, I have done that in some of my poems and I think it adds a neat effect. I reeally loved your first stanza, "I am depression
when I can't sleep at night.
When I lay in my bed crying
until I can't even breathe.
I try to hide you,
but I surrender.
When I am depression,
that is all I am. "
The one critique I have about this, is maybe take out even in line four. That will make it a bit stronger. Overall very lovely poem! I hope to read more of your work sometime.
-Megan17
Thank you man. I agree and will take out that even.
. I have earlier works on here until I have the time to write another one if you want to read 
Good to know, I will be sure to check them out!
This is awesome, it really shows the things people struggle with. And you are a slave to sin, if you don't give it all to Jesus. I have never struggled with anything serious, but in your poem I understand. I think this is a beautiful work of art. One thing: what you struggle with is not all that you are, by saying this the poem sounds depressing. Keep it up.
I'm not religious at all. But thanks for the thought..
I don't think Christianity is a religion , I think it is a way of life.
Sorry if I seem really touchy, it just bothers me when people say I'm religious .
Sorry about that. I didn't mean any harm.
It's Okay.
That is a classic example what a great poem looks like......keep it up friend
Thank you man.
This is a great contribution to poetic world. The complex and expository nature of the poem drives me through. Thisislegacy there's no denying the veracity that you've mastered grammar and clarity you have to work on parallel lines.
I'm sorry, what about parallel lines do I have to work on? I don't understand.
I'm sorry, what about parallel lines do I have to work on? I don't understand.
I'm sorry, what about parallel lines do I have to work on? I don't understand.