Young Writers Society

Hey there. Kanome here with a review. Let's get started, shall we?

First off, this poem brings out a lot of emotion. What I got from it was sadness, hurt... And I feel really sad for the person or anyone for that matter who feel this way. Whoever is feeling this way, I wish I could really help them, speak to them and listen to their feelings.

Anywho, there isn't really much to critique on grammar or punctuation wise. So that's good, right?

Keep up the great work! I can't wait to read more of your writing. Keep writing and enjoy your day!

- Kanome

Hello! Megan17 with a review! I really liked this poem. I could definitely feel the emotion you put into it which makes it that much more fun to read. I also liked how you added repeating lines, I have done that in some of my poems and I think it adds a neat effect. I reeally loved your first stanza, "I am depression

when I can't sleep at night.

When I lay in my bed crying

until I can't even breathe.

I try to hide you,

but I surrender.

When I am depression,

that is all I am. "

The one critique I have about this, is maybe take out even in line four. That will make it a bit stronger. Overall very lovely poem! I hope to read more of your work sometime.

-Megan17

This is awesome, it really shows the things people struggle with. And you are a slave to sin, if you don't give it all to Jesus. I have never struggled with anything serious, but in your poem I understand. I think this is a beautiful work of art. One thing: what you struggle with is not all that you are, by saying this the poem sounds depressing. Keep it up.

That is a classic example what a great poem looks like......keep it up friend

This is a great contribution to poetic world. The complex and expository nature of the poem drives me through. Thisislegacy there's no denying the veracity that you've mastered grammar and clarity you have to work on parallel lines.