The world is full of broken people.
falling apart in old cars and
blaring their radios to not hear.
-
Broken people with no one to care,
empty lies of hopeful lines and
just hoping someone will see.
-
Broken people everywhere,
tears in their eyes
and scars on their wrists.
-
Broken people sleep so peaceful.
Stained and speckled pillows with
little whimpers from nightmares.
-
Broken people, broken people
how can I help,
how can we get free?
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Hi there it is me again, I am hear to do a review on your poem as yashall, so this one is a good length this time so that is a good start, blaring their radios to not hear. Okay I think that this should say blaring their teaves to not hear. Coss people now days don’t really yous radios eney more, Broken people with no one to care, with this I feel like you are missing one word so it would say, Broken people with no one to care for, see I am just adding to it, Broken people sleep so peaceful. To me broken people do not sleep peacefully at all, Broken people, broken people you have said broken people way to many times, so that is all so keep up the good work.
From @MoonFlower
Hey! I'm kinda new.
This poem was so relatable. It gives me the vibe that your trying to describe a broken society. More like our current society. This poem has such a deep, but true meaning.
Thank you.
Hey it's Izzy! I am here for a hopefully good review and some randomness XD
I love this, it's like you are the leader of the broken people and you are trying to help them get free, to be free. (or am I wrong?)
Some commas are missing, and a few words could be changed out, to help it flow better.
Overall, I love this! You should keep writing and next time tag me in any poems you make. I really enjoyed this one.
Izzy <3
Thank you. If I remember I sure will.
Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)
"Broken people with no one to care,
empty lies of hopeful lines,
just hoping someone will see." The comma train has left the station at a brisk pace...
There shouldn't be a comma after 'lines'.
"Broken people sleep so peaceful.
Stained, speckled pillows,
Little whimpers from nightmares. " There shouldn't be a comma after 'Stained'.
From what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.
Thank you.