I love this so much! Yes!
Oooh.I have never seen a work like this before, I just sat back and watched it type away.How did you do it? XDHowever, I must say I found it a little annoying that you couldn't see the work in total if you know what I mean, it made your writing all segmented. And I know that is the point but yah... *is picky*It's reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally cool.And your imagesa and language are good. Cool. Kudos for creating something I have never seen before.
Hey, here to review Just to start of, wow! The effect is awesome and really creative. I really enjoyed how you compared yourself/someone to a fish just waiting around, thinking, waiting, repeating. The humour from 'fin Morse code' was really funny , *smiles*.Keep up the great work!!!~From Pinkdinosaurs xx
This is so awesome Audy, how'd you do this.
In this context I am a fish too sounds off. Maybe leave it out to just jump into "my fins" or what was next? Rest was great fun with the scroll thing.
Sorry, but if your going to use this method then you need to write it like a slam and not like regular written poetry. The line about there being no wallpaper takes a minute or two to think about and by the time the reader has really had time to digest it the poem is half way done. See going into the poem I thought that there being no wallpaper was like you being in your thoughts typing away on a type writer and making yourself this freewrite but as you talked about the fish tank I just got more and more confused. C'mon Audy you can't possibly expect anyone to know what you mean by a 'wall tank' when you're throwing word after word at them. If it were written out I probably would still have tons of questions about what you're seeing, where you are and everything in between. To be honest it is way to cryptic to gain any type of meaning out of it. You lost me at wallpaper. I'm not saying it's bad, we talked before about how I loved some of your stuff but I can't seem to understand this at all. It seems that clarity and simplicity were not taking into account when you wanted to make an image that throws word after word at your reader with no stop for reflection or trying to grasp an understanding.
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