Pistachio Girl and Her Lions

CONGRATS YOU ARE MY SECOND REVIEW EVER!!!
First of all I love how you used such astounding words. I also love how I can picture what you are saying in your poem. I love this part of your poem the best "lying amidst green lions in the blood baked country." I love how say blood baked country, it shows me imagery.
KEEP ON WRITING GIRL!!!

Audy;

My dear, to be honest, I admire you. This poem almost sounds like you busted open a dictionary, picked the coolest words you could find, and attempted to make sense of it all, but didn't care to do so. However mystical this may be, I actually can't helped but be attracted to this type of writing. And, although maybe random, the words you've chosen really do put me in this green and yellow Savannah with chocolate shadows and slow honey lions. I can truly feel your words in this poem.

I'd like to correct grammar, but I really don't know whats intentional, haha! Keep up this writing; let no body ever tell you to make sense!

Heya!

So, I will attempt to review this for you, once I've made sense of it......

Ok, I think I understand now, or at least more than I did.

I like it, it is weird and interesting and confusing, and to be honest everything I expect from you.
The first stanza was the weakest, to me it didn't have the same sense of excitement and just wasn't as engaging as the other two. It was still good, but just lacking compared to the others. I'm not sure how you could go about fixing it, but I think one of the problems may be that you use a lot of flowery language, which while interesting to read, detracts from the actual story and meaning of the poem.

Like the others said, your visual imagery was great and it makes the poem so much better.


I actually find it very dark, I don't know of this was on purpose, but regardless you have done a good job at conveying human loss and regret. I appluad you on it.
Overall you have done a splendid job and everything else I was going to say has already been mentioned.

Good job!
Nargles xxxx

I am going to try to hit on as much as I can. So, I like your variety of words. Many people might not understand, but I think I understand most of what you said. And from what I understand, this poem seems very deep. The way you use the plethora of words here is astonishing. I had to reread this twice just to understand the first stanza! All in all I think this is a really good poem, albeit a tad bit confounding at first! Please keep up with this and make more poems and writings like this! Thanks!

Hi there!

Contrary to what some of the previous reviewers have said, I don't think this was entirely confusing. I don't quite understand all of it, but I think I get parts of it. I would try working on that a little bit.

Your visual imagery was great! Very realistic.

Unfortunately there's not much more new to comment/review on that everyone didn't hit already, so this one is a rather short. Good stuff you've got here...tweaking a little wouldn't be bad though.

Cheers,
Luxe

Oh hello...it's nice to meet you. I have to agree with the other reader-this was an "organic piece". I think why I was drawn in was the title. At first I was thinking to myself "what the heck"? (Not in a bad way though, I was just confused.

I really liked the overall poem though. My favorite lines were "she's weeping because today she sees herself clear in those pistachio shreds,
Lying amid green lions in the blood baked country.

That was outdistancing. Some of the lines were really unique yet confusing. I felt like reading this was a unique thing--confusing at times, unusual, but well done.••••••••••••••••••••••**********••••••*•^•*•*••*•**•*•*••**•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

I'm sorry but, perhaps due to my current tired state, I fail to see any worthwhile meaning behind these words. It sounds as though you're trying to be very cryptic and... guru-ish, but it's not really working since your authorial conveyance has been lost behind a wall of odd concepts and mis-matching ideas, and strange usage of words.

This was nicely put together. Surreal, vivid imagery. I really felt this. I enjoy organic poems like this. I swear, when I read this, my mind must've tricked my olfactory senses; I thought I could smell pistachio nuts baking.

I've gone through several reads, and each one brings with it a new interpretation. At first, I thought it was a light, surrealist narrative poem, but then I started reading into that second stanza. It gets pretty dark. I empathize with Pistachio Girl. I feel her surprise. I feel her grief.

And then there's that concluding stanza. It sums up Pistachio Girl's thoughts clearly and concisely. I got goose-bumps. Although, I must question your choice of words in this line: "if we just left them grow..." Not 'let them grow'?

Needless to say, you have a fan in me. To use allegory in such a creative way requires great skill. This was well executed. I enjoyed reading this.

It was a really good poem to me I tend to write like this, so while i didn't actually get any actual meaning out of his at all, I liked it a lot Keep up the good work. Just a few things though. I know all poetry doesn't HAVE to rhyme necessarily, but i find that when i write poetry it is easier to read and a lot better when i rhyme the words. This was still good, and you should defiantly keep writing, but try experimenting with ones that have rhmes at the end of each sentence Overall a good poem
Yours - Sl4y4

Although I have to agree with Planve, I didn't really get an overall meaning but I'm not a poet person either. I'm just trying to branch out and read what I can when I have the time. However I do like the language, I adore the world vicariously. Anyway, despite that, I really did like it!

Well, i don't know what to say. Though it was well written and stuff. For me it was hard to actually get a real meaning to it all. But all in all, i found it very interesting in a blurry kinda way. But anyway, am not a poet guy so who am i to judge....keep writing.