Young Writers Society

Hey, it's ZeldaIsShiek here for a short review. I couldn't help but post something for this amazing piece.

I really enjoyed this because I can relate to it in many ways. This "Almost" is the god that you can not justify the existence or the goodness of. You just can't find enough reason or proof for the existence of this deity and therefore you are an atheist. To Christians or followers of this god the god is Most, the god is good and powerful and most definitely worthy of praise. But to you, the atheist, this god is Almost and is almost good, almost believable. You want to believe, but you just can't. This is how I have felt for years before declaring I do not believe in the existence of a single, Cristian or otherwise, "God," but in the spontaneousness of life.

It could also mean that this god is not a powerful being which you praise, but a symbol to reflect your ideals or philosophies. This is how I view Norse/Greek gods and other mythologies. I don't believe in the stories being accurate, but I believe they are metaphors for what deeper humanity is: a collection of different personalities and ideals coming together to form something that can not accurately be conveyed through words. This is why the symbols of the Gods are needed, to convey this greater humanity.

That wasn't short... Anyway, I loved your poem! Have a nice day and remember to keep writing!

Beautiful, angsty piece. I would have loved to see more of a focus on the grave of your grandmother, as that seems to be the main tangible emotional anchor to your Almost faith in the poem. I can only take so much lofty existential angst!

Some of the early stanzas seem to be a bit conceptually repetitive but maybe that's just me.

I love the last bit! Even though "cathedrals scrape out from our throats" is a very disquieting piece of imagery

Thanks for sharing this very skillfully written poem about the frustration involved in relation to situations described as an almost. The first stanza gave me the impression that God himself is an being described as an almost and unworthy of being worshiped. So at first I expected the poem to continue as an attack against theism. As a Christian I felt uncomfortable, of course and I imagine that others who are also theists would feel similarly and might stop reading right there and then.

Then I realized that the poem isn’t merely concentrated on disparaging religious belief but delves into romances, and other unrelated areas and does so in a very skillful way indicative of a very talented writer and a keen mind which uses imagery in a very effective way and who knows how to develop a subject in a very logical coherent manner.

Different examples of "almost" are provided such as almost getting cured from a devastating disease but not quite. Almost kissing a desired woman but falling short. The poem brought tioom mind al the almost in my own life and in that sense involved me even closer to what was being described. Especially in reference to people who are almost but not quiet what they declare themselves to be and who can rightfully be viewed as hypocrites if their almost condition is avoidable. However, great care must be taken before tagging someone that way since as humans we are not always furnished with all the relevant data necessary to reach a fair conclusion. That is applicable to God as well

I totally agree, that to almost reach a goal can be exceedingly frustrating. In fact it can get to be perceived as if one is being fated to being an almost there but never quite reaching the goals that appear so tantalizingly and seemingly within our reach.

Another aspect of the almost-but-not-quite phenomenon is probability. When the almost-kind of coincidences are too statistically improbable, then we have a right to suspect some kind of malicious intervention to keep us in the "almost" situation. For example, sometimes what is referred to as an invisible ceiling is created by those in position of authority in order to keep certain people down or in a perpetual almost-condition. Such a condition is cunningly attributed to the innate inability of the victims who can’t seem to get beyond the almost-situations. But in reality, and upon closer examination, there is far more involved than that. In short, when almost incidents pile up although statistically highly improbable, it is only logical to suspect that something malicious interference is involved..


So the poem is indeed a very thought-provoking one and the general impression is that it is a true work of art very skillfully written by an excellent poet. Wish I could express myself as eloquently. Looking forward to reading more of your work!

curse you, Audy, I need to do a poetry review but it's not going to be this

Wow. Just wow.

Top of the morning to you, at least, morning from where I'm standing. Luata here for a review. Please keep in mind that it has been a literal forever since the last time that I wrote anyone a review so please, be patient with me!

First Impression

First impression = blown away. This was an incredible piece. I've been struggling with religion a lot recently, due to certain revelations about my gender/sexual orientation and you know... certain religions are not super tolerant of ... a lot of things *awkward cough* BUT ANYWAY, this puts that feeling into words and I haven't been able to do that for months . So kudos to you because I am absolutely blown away.

Flow

There were a couple of places that your "flow" (as in, the way the poem reads when read in one's mind or spoken aloud, etc) kind of messed me up, but I think that might be due to the way that you decided to space your poem.

I like the spacing the way it is though. It does muddle the words up just a little bit, but I personally think that that adds to the overall theme of confusion/questioning. I loved the repetition of "Almost" and the idea of cathedrals (such cool architecture). I don't think I can really say anything negative about this poem. Reading it aloud has an interesting effect and I loved the way that the words sort of played into the rhythm, which, like I mentioned earlier, was a bit fuzzy with the odd spacing in certain parts. But also like I said earlier, I adored the effect that it had.

Grammar

I am no expert, but I didn't see any mistakes. Maybe someone else will do another review and find some, but in my first and second read-through, I didn't see any. Congratulations! All of my poetry is littered with mistakes >_< (I need a beta reader *dramatic sigh*)

Final Thoughts

Wow. Again. Amazing piece. I loved it. You're super talented and I can't wait to see some more of your work.

So sorry for the super loquacious review. I promise that I'm usually more clearheaded. I hope that you find something helpful in my rambles and that I'll see some more of this wonderful stuff in the future!
~Luata