Young Writers Society

Dear lord...

This poem was just...breathtaking. I really have not much else to say. The vocabulary was gorgeous, the messages, the design.... just wow. Much wow.

I often got confused, but I am unsure if that was because of the set up of the poem or just my proneness to be distracted and confused XD

Anyways, just a really good poem, and any nit picks I think were picked up by Morrigan in her review.

Hello Remington38 here for a reveiw!

Wow...
That was amazing and right now I am speechless. The way the words and lines just flowed so beautifully was just awe inspiring. You are a very gifted writer. I love the format of the poem the way it is so unique to the eye not only in shape but then you read the words that are equally so. Honestly I don't even know what to say it was so beautiful and the description was fantastic. It was inspirational and I loved it.

Wow. I have shivers all over from reading this.

My first read through, I didn't scroll all the way down until the end, and I was confused. So I had to read it again with the context that you're putting it in.

The strongest part of this poem is the emotion in each of the three columns. You do a good job capturing three main angles of the lives matter situation in the media. I don't think that any one column puts down the other, which seems to be an unusual viewpoint. Either way, you did a nice job.

Your first line, "we must be an arctic breed" doesn't transition well into your next line. It's in a different tense than the second line. In fact, I think the second line is the problem, as the rest of the poem seems to be in present tense. It felt super awkward and threw me off right at the beginning of the poem.

I tried reading it across, as well as down, and some of the resulting lines worked surprisingly well. It also led me to realize that you start out the blue column with some of the words in the middle of the black column, which draws connections through the fear that both groups are experiencing. Like a civil war.

I feel like the center column is pretty naive sounding, which I like. The emotion is still as powerful as the other two, but it differs because the emotion is more positive. They're taking photographs so they can ignore the media. I'm assuming this is the "alllivesmatter" portion (I like that you used "and" because these people say that all lives matter, which includes black and blue, and the way you played with black and blue and bruises in the title. Yes good).

I might suggest just a little more punctuation as well. While this is readable, I feel like a lot of it is very allatonce, and it might benefit from a few pauses so readers can catch their breaths.

I just realized that the columns are also stairs. This is really well put together. You obviously put a lot of thought into this! I don't really have anything else to say about this lovely piece. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy poeting!