This is the most interesting take on a poem that I have ever read. I love how it is a form of a recipe, and the commentary is between the steps. What made you even think of writing something like this? It is so unique. I especially love the line, "the gamophobe says she likes beaches and sushi and she dreams how the sky might rain rice at our wedding night." This whole piece is so descriptive and meaningful that I just can't find the true meaning of it...But I love the details and the organization of the piece. "the raw fish rolled up as an art bouquet of flowers, there's life in flowers..." I am amazed at how well this piece is constructed. Well done, thank you for the wonderful share.
I have never read anything like this in my life and I think it's perfect.
I love sushi and marriage freaks me out like crap I can't even like cooperate right now. The whole part with the oven though. That made me laugh so loud and my brother is right next to me and he's glaring at me and I'm here like I'm sorry not sorryS
I love the Japanese in this story and the recipe and tomorrow I'm going to go make the rice and stuff omg yum
8D omg I'm glad someone finds this funny. I totally wanted it to be!
Also cool because I also love sushi and japanese culture and marriage also creeps me out! And your avatar is that you in a bear suit? BECAUSE I WORE A BEAR SUIT ONCE! :O
I'm really tired right now and not mentally able to write a review this piece deserves, but I wanted to say I really liked it. It kept me interested, and I like the font you used. I liked "a toast! no, we're toast, the wine's sour" because I really like it when people use the word as a double meaning.
Any chance you could spare my rusty mind some story behind this? I got something like, bad relationship, cutting fate, some dark themes. You put this in the "horror" category, which kind of makes me look at a few things differently.
You know how everyone has a creative process? One of mine is to keep things hibernating in my head until its ready to come out, and so I remember we once had a conversation about making sushi, and buying sushi kits, and I've had sushi hibernating in my mind and the fact that you've read & commented REMINDED me back to that conversation. I feel its gone full circle :O
You are not far with the themes, I wrote it about a gamophobe and the craziness of catering weddings, but this is the original draft.
Wow. I've never read anything like that before. I know that sort of comment is usually used as a euphemism for: "It's rubbish, but I don't want to tell you." but that's not what I mean. What I mean is that I've never read anything like that before. I liked it.
At times it was obviously a recipe, but there were lots of other subtle shifts in tone. At times it felt like narration to a nature documentary, sometimes a train of thought, other times an encyclopaedia, which was really effective in my opinion. If you'd pardon my use of a pretentious and clunky analogy, you know how when you shine lots of different coloured lights in the same place, and the result is a white light? I think this sort of writing is much the same. It seems like I can see through the patchwork of mediums to something clearer and purer underneath,
I also really liked the typography in this, it worked really well with the general medium shifting tone. Almost all of the fonts worked really well, but the last line didn't seem to work so well (I mean the font, not the text, I loved the line in terms of content.) Maybe try out a monospace font for it?
The fourth line didn't seem to flow quite as well as the rest, I don't know if it was intentional but it feels like you've dropped a word somewhere. I think even: "victims would sit knees on rice" would work better in my opinion.
I hope this has been somewhat helpful, although it seems more like I've been fanboying than reviewing...
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I really needed this right now! XD I'm not sure entirely what it was, but it was great!!! I now have a craving for more poetry like this!
Yay for statements! xP
This is the most interesting take on a poem that I have ever read. I love how it is a form of a recipe, and the commentary is between the steps. What made you even think of writing something like this? It is so unique. I especially love the line, "the gamophobe says she likes beaches and sushi and she dreams how the sky might rain rice at our wedding night." This whole piece is so descriptive and meaningful that I just can't find the true meaning of it...But I love the details and the organization of the piece. "the raw fish rolled up as an art bouquet of flowers, there's life in flowers..." I am amazed at how well this piece is constructed. Well done, thank you for the wonderful share.
I'm laughing. So hard. It's not even funny.
I have never read anything like this in my life and I think it's perfect.
I love sushi and marriage freaks me out like crap I can't even like cooperate right now. The whole part with the oven though. That made me laugh so loud and my brother is right next to me and he's glaring at me and I'm here like I'm sorry not sorryS
I love the Japanese in this story and the recipe and tomorrow I'm going to go make the rice and stuff omg yum
8D omg I'm glad someone finds this funny. I totally wanted it to be!
Also cool because I also love sushi and japanese culture and marriage also creeps me out! And your avatar is that you in a bear suit? BECAUSE I WORE A BEAR SUIT ONCE! :O
It's not me. BUT I WORE A BEAR SUIT ONCE TOO! You're honestly like my twin I can't even :p
I'm really tired right now and not mentally able to write a review this piece deserves, but I wanted to say I really liked it. It kept me interested, and I like the font you used.
I liked "a toast! no, we're toast, the wine's sour" because I really like it when people use the word as a double meaning.
Any chance you could spare my rusty mind some story behind this? I got something like, bad relationship, cutting fate, some dark themes. You put this in the "horror" category, which kind of makes me look at a few things differently.
So funny story!
You know how everyone has a creative process? One of mine is to keep things hibernating in my head until its ready to come out, and so I remember we once had a conversation about making sushi, and buying sushi kits, and I've had sushi hibernating in my mind and the fact that you've read & commented REMINDED me back to that conversation. I feel its gone full circle :O
You are not far with the themes, I wrote it about a gamophobe and the craziness of catering weddings, but this is the original draft.
Haha, that's awesome! Well, your process seems to work really well, cause I really liked this poem.
"Craziness of catering wedding." Not something I normally think about, but when you mention it, that does sound pretty insane.
Wow. I've never read anything like that before. I know that sort of comment is usually used as a euphemism for: "It's rubbish, but I don't want to tell you." but that's not what I mean. What I mean is that I've never read anything like that before. I liked it.
At times it was obviously a recipe, but there were lots of other subtle shifts in tone. At times it felt like narration to a nature documentary, sometimes a train of thought, other times an encyclopaedia, which was really effective in my opinion. If you'd pardon my use of a pretentious and clunky analogy, you know how when you shine lots of different coloured lights in the same place, and the result is a white light? I think this sort of writing is much the same. It seems like I can see through the patchwork of mediums to something clearer and purer underneath,
I also really liked the typography in this, it worked really well with the general medium shifting tone. Almost all of the fonts worked really well, but the last line didn't seem to work so well (I mean the font, not the text, I loved the line in terms of content.) Maybe try out a monospace font for it?
The fourth line didn't seem to flow quite as well as the rest, I don't know if it was intentional but it feels like you've dropped a word somewhere. I think even: "victims would sit knees on rice" would work better in my opinion.
I hope this has been somewhat helpful, although it seems more like I've been fanboying than reviewing...