you know what they say,
what a guy keeps in his locker,
stays in his locker?
well, I used to steal your microscope
the one locked up in chains.
the don't touch, caution taped...
yeah. i snatched it and used it and
turned it all the way down, the way you hate,
so that I may see through your petty physics and at the core of all things,
truth in unfocused images, more real than real.
because when I close my eyes again, this is what I see:
a black man's freckles
or a white girl's tears
fissures of colors and irregularities
perhaps all things you. all things me. oui.
back then
all we had were these classes
and notes and texts and projects, an intellect's game--
the you-call-me-first-I-call-you-first,
oh, but just for school in case the parents found out.
past all the french, checkers, math; past all the molecules
upon molecules,
histories of stories, electrons, space--
I'd come to see the unraveling of laughter
yours like a hyek hyek hyek - and that did it,
I was in blurry-fucking- eyed love,
yippie- yi- yo.
take responsibility for what you've done,
a frankenstein's monster unleashed out of me.
sometimes I think you purposely
left your locker open,
to make it easier to get inside
but I'd never take anything
without putting it back
just the way you hate
and have you to turn right-side-up again.
Hi Audy!
I'm sorry this has taken me a long time to get to, and sorry again because I don't have a lot to say. To me, this seems to be about love unrequited, learning and growing up and experience--but I could very well be wrong. I don't feel like I have a very good grasp of the meaning of this poem, but it's very probably just me being thick.
I love the imagery of the school and classes and lockers, but I'm not sure how this fits:
It doesn't seem to be a very scholastic image like the rest of the language. Maybe I'm missing something?
I'm also not sure of the meaning behind the lack of capitalisation here:
It's not a huge thing, I just can't see how it fits, but that could be just subjective.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. >_<
-twit
The honesty of the poem really grabs me from the first line, and it stays through to the last. I like the way you describe the subject's laughter. The one complaint I have is that the poem does not convey bitterness and heartbreak with the subtlety it deserves.
Maybe i'm not the right person to read your poem. Or maybe I am. I wasn't sure what the messege or point was that you were trying to convey. The cursing I don't think was nessessary, but then again I may not be the right person to read this. Therefore, I won't critique any more than I already have for fear of being of sounding biased.