z

Young Writers Society


16+ Mature Content

think of you

by zaminami


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

dear nikki; matilda; rc—

we first met on a monday, on the first day of school
when we were paired up into groups
to discuss trivia and trivial questions
that we all knew were stupid and boring.
(we had to talk about ourselves—
remember?—
and you didn't really want to talk
and there was me, annoyed that we had
to do this, and so i kept it short and brief.
i disliked answering the questions, even though
you knew later that i loved the sound
of my own voice)

but when we first truly talked was on a thursday,
i believe,
when i walked up to you,
four days after we met,
and said that you could join our table
("there are some empty seats,

and i noticed that you don't have any friends,
so...")
your face
lit up
much like anime characters do—
big smile, sparkly eyes, cute face—
and it made my week.

so you sat with us on monday, quiet at first,
reading your book, avoiding eye contact,
slowly introducing yourself.
it was on a thursday when you opened up
and started to nerd out over some books.
you seemed unsure at first, like
(are these people going to accept
that i am a nerd?)
but
i was happy—finally, someone like me!—
someone who was a nerd, like me!
and we became friends.

my 14th birthday was on a thursday,
which was when i found out that our friend's mom|
was terrible and that toni
didn't consider me as a true friend
(so then i made it my mission to do so;
crumbling me and karly's relationship
even more in the process).

it was in february, on a thursday,
when we had our first fight—
you screamed at me that i didn't understand
what it was like, to go to a new school
and not know anyone, and be anxious,
and depressed, and cut—
and i told you:
("i understand, nikki! i understand!")
and you stomped away;
was that the beginning of our
falling out?

the last fight was in march,
on a thursday,
when we were playing field hockey in the gym.
you yelled at the coach that you didn't
know the rules?—
but you didn't speak up when the coach
said that she assumed that
everyone did from previous years—

and you started to scream
and shout
and were on the verge of tears
and when i told you
("don't fuel the fire. take it from me")
you flipped me off.
and then the locker room.

on that thursday,
you screamed at me some horrible words
("i'll kill myself because of you!")
and i said some horrible things as well.
but the price was hard to pay.

it was a thursday the next week when i started
i started leaving marks on my skin from
pencils, pins, etc.
and they hurt, but i didn't care
but then my parents found out
("how could you do that to yourself?"
they asked.
"why would you do that to yourself?"
and i gave a pathetic answer
because i couldn't explain why)

i stopped, but i'm struggling
my integrity inside of me got me in trouble—
just this past may thursday, i got
a website blocked. now everyone
everyone hates me more.
("twitch killer," they said. "why does anyone
care
about what you think?"
"nobody cares."
"shut up.")
and just when i thought that
it,
the bullying,
was over.

now it's friday while i write this,
after thinking for months how to
write this poem and letter.
and i wish that you were still with us
and i don't go by a day where i don't

think of you.


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1260 Reviews


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Sun Jul 01, 2018 9:42 pm
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Elinor wrote a review...



Hey izanami!

Last review. I thought you did a great job with this poem, and while reading it I could definitely tell that it came from your heart, because the emotion is portrayed in a very effective and very real way. And while, it's free verse, I like how it's structured by days of the week. I also thought your use of parentheticals was effective.

I almost wonder if the poem would be most effective it was five verses, one for each day of the week. Even if things happened in a certain way over a certain time period, I think, for the sake of narrative, you would be alright condensing it, and besides, you can always refer to events that happened on other days in the appropriate stanzas.

Overall, I don't have too much to say because I thought you did a great job with this! Let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything you want clarified! Great work!

- Elinor




zaminami says...


Wow, I didn't see this lmao

Thanks for the review!



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46 Reviews


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Sun May 27, 2018 6:56 am
NicoleBri wrote a review...



Hello there, I am Nicole. <3 I would firstly like to say that although I am not the experienced person you are searching for, I would love to give you my simple review. Secondly, coming from a person who has been bullied, I just want you to know that I can relate to both of y'all.

I know what it is like to be a new kid at school (multiple schools) and it really can take a toll on someone mentally. This poem got my heart racing and I felt so bad for the people in this poem. <3 I love reading things I can relate to on a personal level.

I am also very sorry that you, or even she, went through a phase of self abuse. If you ever need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to PM me. I'm so happy that your friend is getting the help she needs, your mental state of being can really affect every day life. I hope you will be able to see her again.

As far as sending it to her, I think that you should if that is what you want to do. I think she would love any letter from you. Although y'all had your fights, friends being there for each other gets you through things. You might not realize it, but I think she might need a friend a lot more right now then either of y'all realize. <3

I hope everything works out. I'm sorry this isn't the exact type of review you were looking for.

Great job!




zaminami says...


Thank you! It%u2019s fine; your review helped! I%u2019m also getting the help I need through therapy, medicine, etc. but thanks for your concern and review!



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Tue May 22, 2018 10:58 am
ABC123 wrote a review...



izanami.
This poem is amazing. Incredibly so. Very touching and emotional and heartfelt.
I wish that I had the courage to share the deep, personal poetry that I sometimes write, so I find this a very brave thing to do.
As it is so personal, a) I don't really know what you can change or edit because it's your poem and written from the heart and b) it's your thing and I think that you need give your friend the poem that hasn't been edited. When it comes to writing something like this, there's no such thing as a better way to write it, because there will be nothing else like it.
That's all I have to say really.
ABC123




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Tue May 22, 2018 12:01 am
zaminami says...



Hello!

It's SO great to be back after my brief hiatus and I wanted to post this one! It's for school, so I would love for you guys to review it!

All names have been changed to a) nicknames or b) completely different names altogether. So don't yell at me for that, okay moderators?

Also, this is a true story, so no mean comments please. She was going through a hard time with her family and school life (she was bullied too) and she's now getting the help that she needs. I just miss her, so I wrote this poem. I'm also planning to send it to her, so if you guys can review it from that standpoint as well, that would be appreciated!

Please only review this only if you're super experienced at this sort of stuff. I'm not being discriminatory, I just want someone who's able to tackle this kind of deep and true stuff on their own to review this so you won't get overwhelmed. Move onto lighter pieces, okay? Not my dark stuff.

Finally, I'm very happy to be back and I look forward to roleplaying and hanging out with ya'll again!

~~Zami





"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
— Bishop Desmond Tutu