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My 2 Sentence Horror Stories

by zaminami


Some notes:

**THIS WAS BASED OFF OF THE REDDIT THREAD**

**IF ANYONE WANTS TO THEY CAN CREATE A STORY USING THESE SENTENCES. YOU MUST MESSAGE ME FIRST AND GIVE ME CREDIT IN THE STORY**

The Two Sentence Horror Stories:

1. The beautiful girl glanced at the dusty mirror to check her hair. What she saw instead of herself was a ruggish, ugly man staring and smiling back out at her with a saw in his hand and an evil glint in his eye.

2. The recently-widowed woman woke up to lots of blood blossoming from her abdomen. All she had was the energy to think before everything faded was- "Exactly who is that man near my bedroom window?"

3. The blonde-haired young lady chatted to her best friend as she walked down a dusty path. The blonde-haired young lady didn't have any accompaniment and the dusty path was in a graveyard.

4. His father checked everywhere for the monsters under the bed: In the closet, under the bed, on the ceiling fan, inside of the desk. The father realized that he forgot to look behind him when he heard a low growling and his son's scream of terror.

5. The business man ran into an elevator with a lot of purpose to get to the 13th floor. As soon as he pushed the buttons to go up and the doors closed, he was enveloped into pitch darkness as he plummeted to his doom.

6. The college student woke up from a horrible nightmare about her ex killing her at 4:00. She turns in her bed and wonders, "Did I or did I not turn the light's off before I went to bed last night?"

7. The boy, with his back turned from his sister's doll collection, was obsessed with his Mario game trying to beat Bowser. That's why he didn't see the Limited-Edition Shirley Temple Doll turn her head towards him and reach out to him with it's porcelain arms.

8. The world-class huntsman glanced, puzzled, at his stuffed moose's head on his bedroom wall. If the moose is dead, then how did he just see it turn it's head towards him with a malicious glint in it's cold, dead eyes?

9. The gourmet chef washed, dried, and put away her steak knives after dinner before she went up to bed. The next day police found the knives not in the drawer, but in her heart and now disfigured face.

10. I kneeled at my wife's funeral, weeping, and vowed never to leave her. Three years later, I was waking up with the rotting stench of her zombi-fied, burned flesh as it peeled off of her dead skull.

11. Even though there was a curfew, the teenager jogged down the street listening to music and wearing jogging clothes. That's why she didn't hear the warning growl of the creature before it pounced.

Welp, that's it for the two sentence horror stories that I've made up! Have fun sleeping and tell me which one was the scariest!

(I've always known that Shirley Temple was evil.)


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Sun Apr 30, 2017 12:44 pm
skylnn00writes wrote a review...



Hey! Sky here for a review. Just have to say real quick that horror isn't my favorite so luckily I just woke up. These are all just suggestions by the way.

I'm going to go one by one:

1 - I think it is pretty good. It wasn't the scariest, but it definitely made my heart beat a little faster. The only thing I have to say is I feel like there is just a touch too much detail. There are like 7 different describing words and I feel like you don't need them all.

2 -

All she had was the energy to think before everything faded was-

I would definitely reword this. It sounds very strange.

3 - I don't think you have to repeat "The blonde-haired young lady" in the second sentence. You could leave it as "She" or something else to refer to her but that is a bit too repetitive.

4 -
His father checked everywhere for the monsters under the bed: In the closet, under the bed,

So for this I would take out the first "under the bed" and then start naming all of the places that were checked because then, again, it's too repetitive.

5 -
The business man ran into an elevator with a lot of purpose to get to the 13th floor.

I want to say change this part of the sentence but at the same time I don't, but I'll say just read it over and consider changing the "with a lot of purpose" part.

6 - Nothing wrong with this from what I can see. Super creepy though. Like why didn't she turn on the light, jeez.

7 - Again, I don't see anything wrong. Except that this isn't okay to make public because I never want to turn my back to a doll again.

8 - I would make the second sentence, "He could have sworn it was facing the other way just a few minutes ago." Something like that instead because that second sentence right now in the beginning isn't doing it for me. The descriptive "malicious glint" is good though so maybe keep that.

9 - This is creepy, but I personally don't like it. It doesn't give that same rush of terror that the other ones did and in general that it can give.

10 - This was the scariest one. And the most disgusting one. I wouldn't want to wake up next to a dead person no matter how much I loved them.

11 - The only thing I would change is the order of the words. I would write "Even though there was a curfew, the teenager jogged down the street in her jogging clothes listening to music." Then again, I think you could take out the "wearing jogging clothes" altogether and leave it with the music so it sounds better and flows into the next sentence nicer.

That's all I've got. As I said before, horror isn't my favorite but I won't deny that I like to get my heart racing every once in a while with a slight pang of fright. Anyway, hope my review was helpful and happy editing! :smt001

~Sky




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Sun Apr 30, 2017 11:49 am
Hannah wrote a review...



Hi there, Kara. You mention you've changed up this piece quite a lot, so I'm here to take a look at it, although I don't know what it looked like before.

I kind of peeked at the old comments, and from what I gather you used to have much simpler sentences that fit the reddit tone and voice. It's hard to review the sentences here on YWS because it's such a different audience. Reddit would expect the simplicity so they can imagine the creepiness on their own. YWS is used to you writing the creepiness specifically. BUT it's really hard to get specificity into TWO sentences without it sounding awkward. So NOW what seems to have happened is that you've tried to fit too much information in your two sentences and it seems strange. But I see that you've turned at least one of these into an actual short story, so I feel that that's the original purpose of these -- a jumping off point for a full piece.

In that case, the first number that gave me a sense of chill and spookiness was number 6. It's so realistic and simple, but so plausible and creepy. It might almost be less creepy if it were extended into a full piece, though, because all of the fright is surrounded just by the fact that she doesn't know if she turned it off or not. Describing whether she has reason to worry or not would take away half the fun, I think! Haha.

Number 10 seems like it would be a good one for expansion. I don't quite understand the relationship between the two sentences, but I'm still intrigued, so I wonder what the whole story would look like.

I hope these thoughts were helpful to you! Lemme know if you have any questions/comments about this review by PMing me or leaving a reply.

Thanks for sharing, and let's bring Team Sans to victory! :D

Hannah




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Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:02 pm
Kazumi wrote a review...



Ooh, flash fiction.

Hello Kara, it's outvaders here. I'm here for a brief review this nice Review Day. Let's get right into the beef.

Instead of getting straight to critiquing these little stories, I'd like to tell you two things that make horror stories successful, then relate it to your work.

The first thing that makes a horror story successful is the constant injection of fear and tension all throughout the story. If you look back to the best horror flicks of the past like The Shining, you'll notice that something always feels wrong. You can't define it, you can't see it, but it feels as if there's some hidden force watching you as you sleep. That paranoia haunts you as you watch the film; you feel as if something wrong is about to happen any moment now, and that is fuelled by the film's constant injection of fear into your heart.

Basically, you have to make the viewers feel paranoid by making them feel like there's something wrong. However in this short form of prose, you only have two sentences to do so. So from the first sentence in, you have to inject a great deal of fear and tension into the reader immediately.

The second story injects it right. " The last thing she saw..." These words implies death. They are very spooky in themselves, and it causes a great deal of intrigue and tension. On the flipside, the last story squandered this opportunity to inject fear into the reader. It opens with, "She listened to music as she jogged down the street." It's boring to say the least, and it could been more fearsome. It's a waste of half the sentence limit.

The second thing that makes horror stories successful is keeping its antagonists shrouded in mystery. Successful horror stories don't reveal everything about their monsters. Junji Ito never fully explained the enigma of Amigara Fault. Lovecraft didn't tell us what exactly the full extent of Cthulu's strengths and weaknesses. If they did so, then we would come to understand these monsters. If that happened, we wouldn't be as afraid of them because we're more familiar of them. It's the mysterious nature of these antagonists that makes us so afraid of them.

The fifth story just simply throws that out in its second sentence. It explicitly stated that "the elevator's cable had snapped two years ago and had never gotten fixed." That's a big fat no-no in horror writing. We already know the mystery, and thus we're not so afraid of it. Not only that, that "too bad" at the very beginning of the same sentence just makes it so comical.

Anyways, I hope you learned more about horror through this review. My advice for you is to read more of the genre, specifically those works of the legends like Poe, King, Lovecraft, Del Toro and Ito. That's it for my review today. Have a pleasant Review Day.

-outvaders




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Wed Mar 22, 2017 1:04 am
MeisterChan wrote a review...



Hey, KaraStevens! Scythe here for a quick review :)

First of all, the intention of this work was supposed to be horror, now I don't know whether I just have no ability in me to be spooked or not, but I found myself smiling or laughing at these. Some seemed so ridiculous!

He walked into the elevator. Too late, he realized that the elevator's cable had snapped two years ago and had never gotten fixed.


...And this is what I meant be ridiculous. It's like a disaster just waiting to happen! One would think a person had the intelligence to realise that an elevator may not be in service (obvious signs for the oblivious: Actual signs! No lights around or in the elevator).

Although the many scenarios that can pan out after an elevator becomes broken is endless, I don't see how any can be classed as horror though.


Also, I would try to make your writing more attractive! For only 2 sentences, you should use all the techniques you can muster! For instance, here you wrote:

She looked in the mirror. A man looked back out at her


To spice it up a bit, I would change it to something like:

Her mirror; it gleamed with the prospect of future encounters. If only it weren't for the rugged man who looked upon the mirror's owner in distaste.


I hope this helped :D Also, I loved this one the most:

She was absorbed in the book with her back turned from her doll collection. That's why she didn't see the doll turn its head and reach out to her with its porcelain arms.


It was so scary! I felt fear bubbling inside me (not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing).

Great work!

Keep Writing<3
- ScytheMeister




zaminami says...


Thank you for the review!

So I intentionally made them with really stupid people and simple sentences because I based this off of the Reddit thread, with people who don't want to write in the future making these horror stories. In real life, I'm actually pretty good in sentence structure.

And I totally feel you. I laugh at scary things and not scream as well. We are both anti-horror :)

Hope this cleared it up!-- Kara



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Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:18 pm
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KaiRyu says...



I believe #7 was the scariest. XD These are all such good story starters! :o




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Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:24 am
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cleverclogs wrote a review...



Hey, clogs here for a review! my first in way too long

So I'm picking up a pattern from these things: The first sentence usually sets up a fairly normal scene, and then the second sentence totally subverts it and turns it into horror. Which is a good, definitely effective, format. I think you have the structure down very well, but these could use fine tuning on the details. So here are a few tips:

When you're working with such a small amount of text, you want each word to pack the maximum punch it possibly can, so don't waste breath on unnecessary details. For instance, with number seven, why bother mentioning the book if it's not relevant to the main idea of the story? Perhaps set a scene that's more directly relevant to the story, such as a child playing with dolls.

Also, you can spice up your language! Much of this is very dry and plain. For instance,

He walked into the elevator.


There could not have been a less descriptive way to phrase that. Many of these sentences are somewhat along the lines of "[pronoun] [verbed] [extra information]," which just gets uninteresting to read after awhile. You can try switching up your sentence structure, which I think this article may help with:

Sentence Structure

Also, I feel like there should be more of a horror atmosphere in the second sentences? They also tend to be dry, and it just feels like there should be more contrast, so that the horror really jumps at you.

I'd like to talk about number 10 for a minute. The phrasing just feels odd to me, like it implies that he just suddenly realized that his wife died three years ago. It's not really true to the first person perspective. I feel like a better way to do this would be something like "I realized that the smell was rotting, burning flesh from the fire she'd died in three years ago." Obviously not exactly that, but that was just bothering me, lol.

Overall, this was a fun read, and I'd love to see what you can do to it with some tuning up! Keep on writing!




zaminami says...


I think I should clear some things up:

This was based off of a Reddit thread. I made the sentences simple on purpose, because they are people in their everyday lives and then suddenly something scary. I pronouned it because I can't use any names or else people will think I'm targeting them. You need to have a verb and a complete idea in a sentence, so I need the other two. Also, I did this right before I went to sleep last night so my writing isn't exactly the best.
And for 10, I did intend that he just realized his wife died three years ago. He had just woken up and you know when you wake up, your thoughts are sluggish. I hope. If they're not you should see a doctor.
But otherwise this really helped! Thank you!



cleverclogs says...


You seem to have misunderstood my comment about sentence structure. think that the simple sentence structure would work okay in just one story, but when you read them all one after the other, it gets extremely repetitive. You can still get across your point and have a complete sentence without every single one sounding like "He [verbed]". I wasn't criticizing the use of pronouns in place of names, but the fact that all the sentences start the same way--- with pronouns.

For number 10, I was saying that the use of "realized" implied that the man hadn't previously known about his wife. He might suddenly remember, but the realization is happening for the reader, not the character. It feels like the character should be focusing more on the connection of the bad smell with the tragic event, not the event itself.



zaminami says...


I didn't "misunderstand" your comment. Have you SEEN the original two-sentence horror stories? They are exactly like that except for a select few. Also, a few of them had "she". (Sorry, I couldn't resist the sarcasm)

And for number 10, I can't figure out a good way to change it. I've even asked my grandfather, who was a journalist, a good way to fix it but even HE couldn't figure out how to fix it in the best way possible. So I won't be able to fix it at the moment until a moment of genius comes to me (and like THAT will ever happen).



cleverclogs says...


You just proved that you didn't understand my comment, actually. You can't assume your readers have seen whatever this was based off of. I'm coming into this without any previous knowledge, and the sentences are dry and repetitive to me, and that is because of the sentence structure being the same in every single one. I strongly suggest looking at the link I sent about sentence structure, so you can get a better idea of what I'm saying, because it's not just about pronouns, and I really don't want to spend any more time on this.

And even if you don't want to or can't perfect every single one right now (such as 10), hopefully you can at least use my advice as food for thought in future writings.



zaminami says...


If my writing bores you then don't read my writing.

I actually do understand your comment. Are you psychic? Have you ever met me? That's a "no" to two answers. So how do you know that I don't understand your comment? If I were to explain exactly the reason why I made those sentences simple it would be one heck of a long comment.



cleverclogs says...


Let me simplify this: simple sentences are fine and I understand why they're there, but reading them all one after the other is repetitive, and working with sentence structure could help with that.

Also, reviewing is meant to help authors, not pat them on the back and tell them how amazing they are. I certainly won't be reviewing any more of your works given your excessively salty response, but saying "don't like it don't read it" is ridiculous when "not liking" something is actually a reason to give a review on it. And as I said, I did like your work, I just thought there were some things that could be improved.

I won't be replying to this anymore, since you seem to be so hostile. I was willing to have a civil conversation, but at this point I'm sick of the condescending comments.



zaminami says...


I'm sorry.

I'm condescending.

It's part of my nature...



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Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:09 am
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rosette wrote a review...



Hey Kara, I'm just dropping in for a short review though usually, whenever I say that it ends up being WAY too long. I don't know - were you looking for critiques? Ah, well. I'm here, anyway. (;

Some of these sentences were a little chilling and for your information, my favorite was number seven. Dolls have been giving me the creeps, lately. *shudders*
A person really can't give much of a review based off of two sentences. I've never actually read a story that consisted of just that so I'm assuming this was just for fun. But it is amazing how much someone can convey with just what you got here! Some of these, I noticed, you could totally just sit down and write a whole story about. (For example: #10 )

However, sentence number two wasn't as equally horrifying as the others. You say: The last thing she saw the the little girl standing near the window. Her last thought was, "I don't have a child." I'm sort of demanding some background info on this. If I saw a little girl or boy or child standing near my window, I would not think "I don't have a child." I would be freaked out, yes. But such a thought would not ever in a million years cross my mind. You seem to be pushing it a little with that one. Also, as a note: you smashed two "the's" in there. I'm pretty sure you meant "The last thing she saw was the..."

Aaaand... yep, that just about sums up my whole review for today. Hmmm, I did pretty good for saying it would be "short". I hope you found this helpful in some way and please do keep up your writing. Bye for now,
-TheKid




zaminami says...


Okay, thanks! The two "the"s were a typo. I'll fix it when I can.

Also, glad to know that there's SOMEONE other than me who has pediophobia like I do.

If anyone wants to, they can create a story based off of this, they can as long as they credit me.

Thanks!



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Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:36 am
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BlueFeltrix says...



I think this is a really cool idea, and I think 4 is scariest.




zaminami says...


@Feltrix -

Really? I scared myself writing 7... it doesn't help that I'm afraid of dolls, of course, haha.

I got the idea from reading the Reddit thread. I also watched a bunch of reaction videos of people looking at them and getting scared. So yeah, this wasn't my idea but I still really loved making these.



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Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:31 am
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RoseTulipLily says...



I honestly cannot decide which one is the most scary. They all sent chills down my spine ;)




zaminami says...


@RoseTulipLily -

Thanks!

--

Kara




The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book.
— Samuel Johnson