Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
there is a starman waiting in the sky for me
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
OH MY GOD, that was BEAUTIFUL !!!!!!!!
Loki is litterally crying right now......
*sobs fade Loki glares *
"Let me feel my emotions in peace. Do you know how hard it is? To never be sad never get to cry? To always have to be cheeky and vengeful? No mortal, you do not!!!!!!"
*Sobbing continues*
okay, I wasn't trying to be a jerkyjerk. Sorry................. any way I thought the transiting was a little weird in places but over all I love the nostalgic appeal and how it is both peaceful and chaotic, It is amazing and I am glad I have a friend that is such a poet, truely amazing.
@Flumadiddle @WhosabellCanWrite @emolemon @Lake @MJTucker @269609 @KaiRyu I guess
if you want me to tag you in any of my stuff, tell me!
I absolutely love this style of poetry. I'm completely obsessed with bittersweet and nostalgic symbolism and this is perfect.
I only have one critique. It's a bit hypocritical, because I always get annoyed when people tell me to change where I cut the lines off in my poetry, but the transitions here seemed a little awkward in a few places, especially in that last large stanza. I'm probably just reading them with a different emphasis on certain words or something like that. Just something to maybe think about...
Aside from that, the poem was very well written and nicely put together.
aw, thank you!
Hello! I'm going to review this at some point in the near future, but life is-well, life right now, so if I don't get to it this week could you PM me about it? I'll probably have it within the next few days but just in case I forget
Sure!
Okay so literally this poem is AMAZING! I have never seen death shown in this kind of light before. This poem is so deep, but not overbearing. I absolutely loved reading it. Every line was intriguing! At first I didn't understand the whole concept of a starman. But by the end of the poem the message was pretty clear, but not spotless. I think you may have intended that though so that your readers could interpret that themselves. Even if you didn't intend that, well it was amazing anyways! I really like how you described the person being treated from all these doctors and nothing is working. In my head though I was thinking that maybe the character didn't want it to work, the character was done fighting and was ready to go. That was why nothing was working. That was truly amazing to have something so simple turn into something so big. I loved how you used beliefs of other incorporated into the piece to make it realistic. like the following of the bright light. Keep it up because this poem is one of the best I have read so far!
awwwwww... thank you!