Thanks for sharing this imagery-rich poem about someone walling in the snow while ruminating on her past future and present. The poem does an excellent job in conveying a sense of futility or resignation. I felt empathy or compassion for the speaker and a desire to tell her to be more positive. I also felt anger at those who were supposed to help but didn’t.
The possibility of a destiny that might be victimizing humanity in the way described bothered me. I understood the tracks on the snow as being compared to the events that she has experienced and which she considers to have marred the present. The only thing appears untouched like the snow is the future upon which she will also leave tracks.
The speaker believes that the future, represented by pristine, untouched snow will also be ruined by her activities. Meanwhile trees are gossiping and jeering. This brought to mind how biblically trees are compared to people. Obviously these trees are producing bad fruitage or behavior.
Then again, the ice is described as laughing, so it seems as if the speaker considers nature itself as conspiring against her. This might be understood as blaming destiny or some deity for the situation.
The blades of grass are expected to offer help but decide not to. This might be understood as the speaker feeling betrayed, abandoned and isolated by those usually expected to offer assistance. Perhaps these would be family and supposed friends?
Things done in the past are insignificant since the footsteps she has left there are fading into non-existence.
Thanks for sharing.
Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Suggestions
The poem’s readability can be improved by organizing it into stanzas and using regular punctuation. IMHO
i had fallen[,]
i had messed up[,]
i had failed[.]
. . . . heart and soul. [Is there a more original way to say this?]
snow untouched by man, by woman, by human.
[. . . . by humans. ]
. . . . my already[-]hurt skin
Points: 664
Reviews: 841
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