i think
that i'm good at writing.
that i can actually publish something.
that i will be able to become popular on the internet
for my writings, for my imagination.
i think
that i am great at drawing
that my faces are so realistic yet cartoonish,
with their anime eyes and shading techniques.
and the fact that i am stocked with art requests
means that i am actually good.
i think
that my grades are pretty good.
b's and a's as my averages in my classes,
that one occasional c, always in gym.
my 3.5 gpa, the fact that people go to me
for homework and normal help.
i think
that i can sing and play an instrument.
with my voice sounding like carrie underwood's
but at other times, like a natural-born pop singer.
and that my flute playing is exceptional, due to the fact
that i can play mozart without even trying.
but i'm not
good at writing.
no matter how hard i try, my poetry only stays
in the spotlight for ten minutes at a time,
and i have no patience for longer prose,
and my words blend together like adghjergekjfgnkdceroijs.
and i'm not
great at drawing.
i look at other people's drawings compared to my own,
mine looking so childish compared to theirs'.
my manga eyes clashing with my realistic shading.
the arms and legs just come out all wrong and make them look like monsters.
and i'm not
keeping my grades up.
recently i had c's and d's as my average.
and people don't go to me as much
as they used to, because i'm a-
i'm a failure.
i'm not
good at music.
my singing has too much twang
and has too off-key. and my flute-playing
is described as stupid,
for there's no way i can apply it to my life
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
This poem brings together both good and bad in a students' life. It tells the story of a person who's life was entirely flipped upside down. Everything that they thought they knew was a lie, or suddenly changed for the worst. This also tells me that this person is having a hard time accepting what happened to them. The poem is really good, keep writing!:)
thanks
that person is me btw
Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.
I can relate to feeling like you are good at something, only to realize that you are not when you are compared to other people and you see how good 'good' really is. I like how you wrote "I a- I am a failure," because it makes your writing sound more like a conversation, rather than just writing how you feel and having other people read it. I really like the way you wrote this is a balanced Yin and Yang way, keeping the negative and the positive separate. The most important thing to get out of this review is that you are really good at poetry, you are a great artist, and that you are only as good as you believe you are. Keep writing about what you feel, and you will become better overall.
That's all for today. Keep writing amazing literature that inspires me to read and review them, and have a great Review Day! Let's beat the Blues once and for all!
~ZeldaIsShiek
Today I'll give you my soul (review, I mean a review). Jokes aside, If you paint as well as you write poems, I think I'll like them too. I think you are actually good in writing.
.
And I love Descarte's reference. Even though it's reversed
There's one thing though: I tried several times to read "adghjergekjfgnkdceroijs". and after
about 69th try I felt like it doesn't rhyme with any line in the entire poem.
I think you're not a failure. No, I know you're not a failure. Those who are don't even try to do something new and you did and you did publish too. I'd say keep a great work remember this if I like something millions of people like it too.
Well, I felt it emotionally. I'd have to say it's good enough, eh? I think the final line really goes a long way into summing it up. I once pined for the popularity contest. In retrospect I find myself very selfish for that. (xD, sorry just self-reflecting).
there's a path for you, that involves not doing normal things that everyone else follows or aims for. Ever thought of things that way?
Peer-haps,
I'd tell you to hang in there -- but I don't like when ppl say that to me. I'll tell you something else instead. What if you asked the universe (or so-called empty air) to tell you what's most worth searching for? We as humans tend to set our sights low, and earthly, and set the bar on Possibility because of the regularities we tend to see in our daily life
Hi again, DemonGoddess. Here once again with another hopefully helpful review!
I like what you have going on here. It's very organized, which helps the mood and theme carry through. I understand that the main theme here is (from what I have gathered) the sad thought of not being "good" at things. It puts pity on the reader and has a hint of sadness after every stanza. Except, there was no real conclusion to the poem. You ended with the line
and I think that's a little random. It's a good end to that stanza but we need an ending for the whole poem. Otherwise there's really no satisfaction, there's not much I get out of the poem except a little pity.
Isn't the correct term "and is too off-key"?
I do like the progression of this poem! You start by writing in the form of "I think" and then slowly move towards "I'm not". I can tell that you knew what the format was going to be.
I feel like you struggled in a couple of areas, particularly in several stanzas that either lacked good imagery or didn't make sense. For example, your "writing" stanza --
This line seemed like a lame attempt at hiding the lack of imagery in this stanza. What do you mean "blend" together? They don't make sense, they don't have meaning, it's hard to write words, etc? The use of imagery was really poor in this stanza to me. I didn't get a major reaction like I might have with better descriptions and depth.
With possibly a better conclusion and a little more imagery to the overall poem, this can go far! I can tell it has great meaning to you, and I feel like many people could understand this point and everyone has faced one or two of these kinds of difficulties in their lives. Yet, it is still personal. So besides the one stanza I mentioned that you could work on, just adjust imagery use and possibly add a conclusion? That's all I would suggest. Thank you for sharing this piece. Also, know that you are a good writer! Even if you don't feel like the best, you are always improving. <3
I hope this review helped!
neptune