Young Writers Society

Hi there! Radrook here to give a review. Thanks for posting this veery interesting poem. I like the reference to shoes being worn out because of the futility of precious efforts. Also the imagery of being run off a track is nice. The rhyming is perfect as is the meter.

It would have been interesting to hear exactly what people were saying so we can see why he considered this things fucked up. Since the reader doesn’t know he can’t evaluate whee your dad’s evaluation of such things is justified or not. But the poem’s purpose isn’t to convince us. It is merely to show in a very forceful way how your dad was feeling at that particular time. I would say that it succeeded in conveying that frustration very well and in a very artuistic and entertaining manner.

Hello Kara, Adrian here for a review
before i start, tell your dad i said hello and that this poem is a masterpiece. thank.
now heres the review.
"I need to take a good shit
Free my body of toxic waste" iconic this is going to be my senior quote.
HOWEVER, and i hate to bash this, i dont know how it goes with the next two lines?
i feel like they dont exactly flow together. but dont get me wrong, i did enjoy the next two lines. they just didnt go together.
the second stanza is my favorite in the entire poem, its extremely well written and ahHHH I LOVE IT. i literally have nothing to point out there.
actually i have nothing to point out about the rest of the poem. its all really well written and i very much enjoyed it.
so yeah have a good day and happy holidays
i look forward to seeing more from you in the future pal
>Adrian

@Flumadiddle @Saruka @people