Young Writers Society

This poem is very deep and gives an interesting perspective on the topic of letting someone go after something happened. It shows the emotions of someone who is still holding on to old memories of someone who you thought before would stay by your side forever but then ends up hurting you ultimately changing how you view them forever. Its a really well crafted and thoughtful poem that's very interesting to read and to think about. I also like the nice reference to Shakespeare and his play, it really adds to the romantic aspect of this poem piece. I also really like all the comparisons and all the small but descriptive details in this poem. You did a very good job on this poem and your art style is an enjoyable one at that!

Hello! Liked this poem a lot, so I decided to leave a review.

Themes
1.) I think you've managed to find a new angle for the theme of letting go, which I think is really impressive since this idea is something almost everyone writes about. I liked how you explore why the speaker is clinging onto this person, the sense of indulgence associated with holding onto something that's not so good for you, and the metaphor of a good novel in this case I find apt.

2.) There is also a sense of unity in each stanza; every part of the poem links back to a single theme, which leaves a great impression on the reader.

Structure
1.) I liked the way you've organized the stanzas overall. Starting with a short one to set up the themes, before delving into a long, winding stanza where all the action happens creates a highly dramatic effect.

2.) I liked the way you used the dash in your first line. There, it seems meaningful, because it reflects the speed and impulsivity of hanging onto emotions "easily". Dashes tend to create a sense of abruptness, something I find not very in line with "contemplating", and so I think perhaps the third last stanza might do better with commas, semicolons or full stops in that sense. Of course, this is all just personal opinion.

3.) Another thing I think is unnecessary is separating the last line "I must learn The Secret to Letting Go." from the stanza before it. The last line completes the thought of the previous stanza, so I think it would flow better if it were placed within said stanza rather than outside of it. I understand wanting to draw attention to the reference there, but I also think the capitalisation already does that well enough.

Language
1.) Like I said, I really enjoyed the imagery you've used in this poem, particularly the one about the novel. The use of a fight on a boat I also found original and unexpected, and I personally saw a lot of meaning put into the interactions between the speaker and the lover. Just as a suggestion: maybe you could extend this idea even further into the vocabulary by using "scenes" rather than "sections", since "scenes" seems more reminiscent of a book.

2.) This is a bit of a nitpick, but when I read "that isn't simply how it works", I got stuck on "isn't simply". It's not the usual way of placing an adverb, so maybe consider changing it to "that simply isn't how it works"?

Overall

This is really the sort of poem you appreciate more the more time you spend reading it and thinking about it, which I think is a great accomplishment for a writer. I found it very easy to sympathise with the speaker from the beginning thanks to the strong opening, so the poem resonated with me a lot. In summary, great job with this - and keep writing!

Hello casa! I just thought I’d drop a review.. I dunno why really..
So if you’ve not already noticed my style, I basically review stanza per stanza just as I read it for the first time. So your first stanza.. is great.. but I kinda missed the whole point. I understand the smothering feeling, but what generates it..? I guess you explain it later on.. so let’s continue. The second stanza does a better job, we get the whole extended metaphor comparing a book to.. who knows.. even though it does not explain your first stanza. Not a bad thing.. but it leaves us with one loose end. The third stanza has a formidable rhythm, a formidable message- and sure does fit with what you just said. I understand this poem is about letting go.. alright.. that stanza is fine for that.. and that’s finally when I get the whole thing. What’s so formidable in that stanza and the title; is that that’s when we get the whole thing; and that’s also when we’re like *oh! That’s what it means!* and we read your whole poem again. (I nearly did until I realized I was reviewing)
So the last stanza’s only problem is the rhythm.
I think the Midsummer’s night dream would’ve made more sense (and probably also would’ve fitted in better) as, *even if I played in our own Midsummer’s night dream/ it causes me to lose everything I hold dear*
Instead of the much too long *even if I did play a part in our very own Midsummers night dream/ and it causes me to lose everything I hold dear*