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Roses and Thorns

by Casanova


a withering rose full of hope. dangling, weakly, amidst brighter, taunting flowers.it's  one wish: to shine brighter than the rest. it's one wish: to be known.
                                    T
                                      O
                                    B
                                      E
                                    F
                                      R
                                    E
                                      E
free of the chalky flakes falling off its' petals. free of the ooze dripping down its' browning stems. to be cut of its' withering roots and to fly above the taunting flowers down below. 
                                    R
                                      E
                                    D
                                       T
                                    O
                                       B
                                    L
                                      A
                                    C
                                      K
wanting to watch the sea of flowers below decay as they watched him. to be cut up, and shred, lying lifeless on the ground. their colours faded. their smells souring. their thorns no longer pricking at it. their beauty no longer in them. 
                                   R
                                     E
                                   S
                                     T
                                   I
                                     N
                                   P
                                     E
                                   A
                                     C
                                   E
















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31 Reviews

Points: 1025
Reviews: 31

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Thu Nov 03, 2016 5:31 pm
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KaiTheGreater says...



:o




Casanova says...


BRUH



KaiTheGreater says...


XD



Casanova says...


:P



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745 Reviews

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Wed Nov 02, 2016 7:42 pm
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Lumi wrote a review...



Author's intentions mean nothing.

The first stanza is fine. I get the meaning behind them. Author's intentions mean nothing, but I get it. However:

Its'


Not a word. Consult chat conversation. Not a word. I'll save you some grades in college. Not a word.

The falling flowers: good idea, could benefit from more unpredictable and wistful formatting as a petal in a breeze doesn't fall left-right-left-right-left-right-ground. Though I figured it was a bit early for this, I'm saying it: experiment with white space and figure out what looks and feels and flows the best. Aside from the aesthetic, bunched together, it's not the easiest jam in the world to read.

I appreciate, though, what you did with the distance technique and I give you applause for it. While it needs refinement, it's successful.

Its' is not a word.
Ty




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32 Reviews

Points: 202
Reviews: 32

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Wed Nov 02, 2016 5:19 pm
Jpwriter wrote a review...



so I'm liking this a lot the format of how you write them is different, of course other writers do something similar, but you giver it something brighter, I'm not sure what it is but i cant wait to find out. though i should mention it was a little hard to read but gives it more meaning. the whole concept in the story is awesome and I'm very interested in seeing more work like this. a poet with so much to say and has yet to say it, just remember to say it and help change the world.




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Points: 199
Reviews: 3

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Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:50 am
Venuschild says...



Good job! This poem is beautiful and the style and format is attractive as well.
I don't think I can find anything that should be changed.
Keep up the good work! :)




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16 Reviews

Points: 428
Reviews: 16

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Tue Nov 01, 2016 4:23 am
bloodstring wrote a review...



WOW...!!!
Casanova, you are brilliant...well the poem is, that's for sure!
But the way you wrote this poem is just awesome so I guess that makes you brilliant, too!
I really like it,man...It's very fascinating and enthralling to say the least.
Also, I really don't object to the way you didn't capitalize the first words in the sentences because it's just fitting.
Keep writing and I hope to see more of your work in future.
Good luck and God bless!!


bloody...





A true poet does not bother to be poetical. Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses.
— Jean Cocteau