• Home

Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

I'm a little teapot, short and stout

by Casanova

growing up I always heard
the single expression-

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout"

but these days
i feel more like a single tea cup,
that's been sitting in a dusty old barn
since the renaissance age

just lying there,
covered in mud,
waiting until i would be of use-
that's where you came to be.

you walked in with your head gear
some yellow hat (that looked more like
a construction hat, rather than a mining hat)
and cigar smoke that smelled like
a fresh harbor due after a nightly rain-

and then you took out your excavation tools
and started digging,
and among all the jewels and pottery you found
that you just left lying there like discarded garbage-

you grabbed my handle,
and smiled when you lifted it up-
only to cackle when you let me fall to the ground
to be broken into a thousand pieces,

because i wasn't the little tea pot, short and stout.

Is this a review?



User avatar

Points: 278
Reviews: 1

Mon Jun 17, 2019 11:05 pm
tishi wrote a review...

I enjoyed the imagery and how you almost lead me to believe the cup would be saved. Only for you to spill the tea (heh, get it) and reveal that that wasn't the case.

I found that when you described the hat, it took me out of the flow of the poem a bit. Maybe it was the sudden use of parentheses, or the unnecessary detail of it when everything else is vaguely described.

Also, I'm not sure if it was intentional but you added an extra "I" in the last line. If that was removed, the delivery fit would've been perfect. But again I'm not sure if you meant to do that.

Overall, I really liked reading this. The feelings and messages were clearly expressed. It definitely drew out some feels for me. Though, coming from someone who vents their feelings out on poems, I hope you aren't feeling as lonely as the little cup ;-;

User avatar
109 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 109

Mon Jun 17, 2019 3:49 pm
silvermoon17 wrote a review...

Heyaa casa! So.. you’re in front of me.. but who cares XD
So for a review.. I really enjoyed the way you used extend metaphor ALL throughout your poem. By that, I mean the use of a teapot as a metaphor of.. whatever interpretation you can think of. I think you establish pretty well the tone at the beginning- although you kinda ruin it with the following stanza. I mean, sure; that’s your theme, but having just a following stanza where a catchphrase keeps us hooked- is much more effective than you think. The third one is perfect, I like the way you have it vague enough to have us give our own interpretation of yours words- without them (your words) being total confusion. The rest is basically everything I said.. maybe too little description and compariso- but hey, that’s a style I can come to respect. I like the way you make us sympathize for you at the last stanza, and that last line is rEeLiNg. (If that makes sense).
You seem like you have something on your mind.. I know I’m probably the last person you’d turn to.. but I’ll always be here to hear you out.

Who knows anything about anyone, let alone themselves.
— Hank Green