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when the first snowflakes start to fall

by Casanova

My favorite season is mid/late fall-
and the different colours of the leaves
shine bright to me.

When the snowflakes start falling down-
it's like everything gets colder. Darker.
Not as happy and cheerful
as it was before.

The temperature actually drops, and
every-time you say a word
you have needles running down your throat.

That's kind of like depression.

When you change from having several
moods- happy, angry, sad, and all
the different colours- to just having the one.
The sad, the white, the numbness,
the nothing.

Like when you open the door-
ready to head out for the day-
and that first chill hits you and
stays for a moment
before you get used to it.

Except this doesn't last for a moment.
It's an endless snow fall.
because you think that
you're never going to get out of it.

But you do get through the first snow fall.
Then there's always the second one.
There's always the third one.

It keeps going and going
and with each snow fall, it keeps getting deeper.
It keeps getting colder, until
everything ices over. The roads, the houses,
everything you see and hear is covered in ice and snow.

But when you're in depression-
you're the one that's covered in snow.
You're the one that's covered in ice.
you think you're on the inside
watching it snow. You think
everything else isn't as happy as it used to be,
or as fun as it used to be.

But in reality- it's you. 

Is this a review?



User avatar
44 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 44

Fri Sep 30, 2016 4:54 pm
Rosella wrote a review...

Hi there Casanova! Rose here to give a little review and drop in my opinion :)

Just wanna let you know I am new to reviewing so I may not be the best

First off, I love the idea and concept of this poem. I am in love with the idea that you took the beautiful seasons and weather patterns to identify feelings within a person. I enjoyed the metaphorical meaning of coldness and bitterness of winter identifying with sadness and loneliness. Also how you chose to use fall, a colorful bright season, to identify happiness. And since it is the beginning of fall it fits quite well, haha

I personally like these poems the most because I love comparing the earth and nature to the human body and the emotion within a person. I also like how you did each stanza and split off the lines a good timing. None of the stanzas are too long nor too short and it is perfect.

At the end using italics for the "in reality" was needed to stretch the realness of emotions and sadness.

But when you say "and the different colours of the leaves" in the second line of the poem, maybe put "when the different colours of the leaves" because it feels like it would make more sense when reading it out loud.

Lastly the thing I would recommend the most is using a deeper word choice.

Otherwise the poem is wonderful and I loved it. You are a wonderful poet and I can tell you enjoy writing it very much. Keep up the good work and have a good day!

User avatar
105 Reviews

Points: 195
Reviews: 105

Fri Sep 30, 2016 3:38 pm
OreosAreLife wrote a review...

Hey Casanova, it's AshleyDashley here for a review.
First off I'm sick do this may not be the best review. Anyway, I liked your title, but maybe try capitalizing the first letter of each word. I don't know if no capitalization was intentional or not.

Second off, I noticed that after all your dashes your letters are lowercase. I'm no expert at grammar, but should't it be uppercase. Again, not sure if this was intentional. It looks fine as it is. But it was just something I noticed.

I really like how you compare snowfall with depression. When you did I realized how similar the two are. I never thought of depression that way. You really compared them well and I see where you are coming from. Overall I really like this poem. You did an extraordinary job writing it. Keep writing and I hope to read more of your work in the future!

Sorry again if this was not the best review!

AshleyDashley :)

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
— Woodrow Wilson