"Matthew! How was your day?"
Ah, the phrase that starts the ever turning wheels in my corroded mind. How is it once these words are spoken my mind free falls in a state of reverse, and instead of her lips on mine, and her voice whispering in my ear, it's yours? Her hands, cold, always shivering up to me for warmth, yet yours are warm and tender(I was the one huddling, then.)
"I love you, Matthew."
Only two people in my life have continuously called me by my full first name. It's sweet, as I usually prefer Matt, but when she says it- no, when I see you through her, and I can hear you say it- I don't mind so much, as if a Siren calling upon me in the dead of night, using all of my secret wants and desires to lure me in to stay.
"I want to marry you, Matthew."
I've heard this too many times in my life, and most people say it in the rush of the moment. But when she sa- No, YOU, when YOU say it- I don't mind, and I know the feeling is mutual. Like two Phoenixs nesting, sharing their bed together, slumbering blissfully together, wings intertwine. I could slumber for ever, if only it was actually you beside me, instead of her.