All right, here's the start of the rest of the reviews I owe you. They'll probably be kind of short, as I'm realizing how much I actually prefer reviewing prose.
I think you did a pretty good job of showing a slightly different take on the typical associations surrounding the sun - particularly the narrator's question of whether they will have to take up the sun's mantle at some point. I think it helps to hint at the wider nature of this poem, the uncertainty and fear that such an important support will fail.
I feel like this poem has a tension to it, and that it ends with that note of tension unresolved. I actually quite like that - it leaves it feeling almost more raw and unfinished, uncertain.
Slightly awkward lines are your main downfall. I'm not a fan of your second line, for instance. It just doesn't flow very well and it's a little bland.
I also know poems don't always follow grammar standards, but you keep not putting prepositions after "except" - it should be "except by" in the second stanza, and "except for/with the dry sobs" in the last stanza, speaking strictly grammatically. If it's a stylistic choice, I honestly don't think it works that well, especially since you aren't consistent and use "except for the tears."
Also, 'dry sobs' is plural, so unless something else is resonating, "resonates" should be "resonate."
That's all I have to say on this one.
Points: 90000
Reviews: 1085
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