Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said:
Thanks for sharing this charming composition which claims we don't feel the way the speaker feels until we undergo what the speaker underwent-the loss of one thought to be the one. I like the way that the title contributes to the rest of the poem. I have never been able to do that with mine. I also like the poem's relaxed conversational tone to a certain degree and found the play with short words entertaining.
But the logic I found unconvincing because the premise is untrue. After all, losing one thought to have been special isn't necessary in order for one to feel that way. Sheer loneliness is enough to motivate fervid prayer for companionship. So the statement can only be taken as a personal opinion that has many exceptions. It is like saying that all Geese are black and then fining that several are white. So if it were mine I would make a similar statement but not have it come across as an invariable generality.
Suggestion
one -him, her, it
ones - them
All in all a very interesting read. Looking forward to reading more of your poems.
Points: 664
Reviews: 841
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