It's almost Valentine's
And we are too young to be possessed
By such love as Romeo and Juliet
Still, we are blessed by hugs and kisses
From our parents and friends
No better love, no better profit
Than the love from maternal relationships
I scroll through our messages
That we sent each other
Searching for your address
To christen on my love letter
And after a while,
I do not find what I am looking for
But instead love hearts and diamonds
As you pressed 'send'
And I realise
That you are more than words can surmise
And I soon find
That you own a broken heart
That is not tended with love and kisses
How many 'call me plz'
Litter on your profile
How many 'tell me about your day' warms my heart with glow
And soon,
I felt like,
Our love is greater than
Romeo
And Juliet
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,389 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Wow!
This is a great poem you have here - you really explore the feeling of love and the feleing of being in a relationship with someone you think the world of. Your language and imagery feel very immersive as if you are the character experiencing the emotions you are conveying here - so well done! My only suggestions for improvement, would to be add a short section to the end, maybe tying the poem up like:
And soon I felt like,
Our love is greater than Romeo and Juliet,
We lay beside each other in the starlight,
Wondering if our future will hold the best,
Let's stay with each other tonight.
If you added a section like this, then this poem would be fantastic (this is just suggestions of course, your work, you do whatever you feel as though is best for you). But aside from that, well done and keep writing!
Thank you so much for your suggestions, I'll consider to add them in my poem
this was a great one.
i think surmise is not the proper word here. you could have used any other word such as express or speak
to me, it seems than will be then
put a comma after instead
these are mere suggestions. it's totally up to you that will take these or not.
overall, it really expresses the love. well done with this poem. keep it up.
Thank you so much
hi. i have published ch 12 of my novel. pls check it out and review it
Awesome
have you checked it out?
Yep