Young Writers Society

Wow!! You are really a good poet!

Hmm. I really love it there. Caught me off guard and I sure expected that from you. Like the others, I love the flow of the poem for myself and I sure bet it is really really amazing.
Again, I would compliment the layout on your literary appreciations and figure of speech used in the different lines above. There are a series of hidden phenomom in each line of your poem, and that is what really made it make some bit of sense.
Writing is a skill that I think everyone needs to work and develop on. Your poem's striking, but at the same time, not in line as to the way I expected. I don't know how you planned it or the messages you were trying to pass through, but as readers are, I know for sure that they would always want to see things on a different aspect or point of view.
I do not want to point out that most of the lines were actually contradictory or point blank, but like you said, I believe when it is originally published, the theme would be less contrasting and comprehensible because your language is high sounding and your diction lacks clarity.
Above all, its wonderful that you wrote well, and I seem to enjoy it.

Hmm. I really love it there. Caught me off guard and I sure expected that from you. Like the others, I love the flow of the poem for myself and I sure bet it is really really amazing.
Again, I would compliment the layout on your literary appreciations and figure of speech used in the different lines above. There are a series of hidden phenomom in each line of your poem, and that is what really made it make some bit of sense.
Writing is a skill that I think everyone needs to work and develop on. Your poem's striking, but at the same time, not in line as to the way I expected. I don't know how you planned it or the messages you were trying to pass through, but as readers are, I know for sure that they would always want to see things on a different aspect or point of view.
I do not want to point out that most of the lines were actually contradictory or point blank, but like you said, I believe when it is originally published, the theme would be less contrasting and comprehensible because your language is high sounding and your diction lacks clarity.
Above all, its wonderful that you wrote well, and I seem to enjoy it.

Hey, great poem! You have a talent for writing - as we can see here.

The flow is amazing and the end line "This is it" sent chills down my spine! The whole poem had an eerie, almost spooky feel to it. Your stanzas have a huge effect on the entire poem too

Overall i very much enjoyed it ; no criticism here!

Love Rubes

Hey!

First of all lemme just say that I really enjoyed reading your poem.

There's a slightly eerie air in the poem, like it is forcing us to confront the harsh realities of existence. I really liked the flow, especially in the fourth stanza.

I'm not sure about this, but I think there should be a question mark at the end of this line:

Where has the softness gone, once embellished with frozen kisses

I really liked how you compare humans to robots engineered to fail...that's a beautiful comparison.

I don't really know why, but this line sounds amazing:

scratching the skin like feather and tin

There's something lyrical about it...I really loved that line.

On the whole, I loved the poem. Can't wait to read more of your work.

Keep writing.