Young Writers Society

Hey there! I'm here for a quick review. First of all, I like the nature theme you've got going on. Somehow it's a theme that never dies.

The way you've started out each stanza with the same identical line gives the poem a sense of unity and helps tie it all together. I love this feature.

I noticed there was some rhyme, which I'm a fan of, but you could work on your rhythm in order to make in flow more smoothly. If you're going for a more open or free form, rhythm may not be as important, but if you want the emphasis on the rhyme, this aspect becomes more crucial to tie the rhyming lines together. I'm not always the best with rhythm myself, so it's definitely often something that needs to be continually perfected.

Some of your lines were a little odd to me - which may just be my interpretation (or lack thereof) - but it seemed that the picture it painted in my mind was a bit abstract and disjointed. For example, the last two lines of the first stanza. I found myself like, "Wait, what? What does sweetened honey have to do with mountains and treacherous journeys?" So that's just a little input you can filter through at your discretion.

Once again, I like the nature theme, and the example subjects you've chosen to focus on in your imagery are pretty in the way only little things can be. I feel like this type of poem raises appreciation for the small touches that make nature so beautiful. Good work.

Hello illy! Incoming review!

You have a nice way with words and that's what I immediately thought when reading your poem here. I like how you make each part of nature come alive. Your use of personification in the first stanza is so perfect, it's almost dainty. A more powerful line I liked was this,

the petals that bloom fall to the earth like feathers-

Skyrocketing the soil and pushing above

the borderlines of tape that was strung across the world like a dove.

Hi illy7896!
Here's a short review for you today!

the spider’s web that crawls is never honest.

Ants climb their mountains- a treacherous journey,

Too natural to even notice,

Hello there!

First things first, title-- it's arguably the most important part of poetry besides the actual poem itself. I love the idea of nature being art, and I think it definitely works with real life having so many different types of creatures and beauty. It's a nice sentiment and it can be poetic if someone tries hard enough, so it makes sense with what you have here.

Although, it doesn't really fit with the contents? It wraps up well in the last stanza, but the ones before focus more on nature being not what's typically considered art. That could be what you were going for, but I think foreshadowing is a powerful poetic tool and sometimes it can be applied in situations similar to this one.

Now into the actual body of the poem~

Too natural to even notice,