Seeping into our minds
Are their voices
Billowing like the curtains in the wind
We too are untied
Untethered
Next to an open window
Of the unknown
I can't help but feel
Like I want to climb out of that window
And try
Try so hard
To not hit the ground
And fly
People down below
Tiny specks
Walking, talking and dreaming
What if I drop down and with a splat
Crash down onto them
And crush their bodies
With the weight of my naiviety
Reckless I suppose
But I ought to be free
I promise I'll do my best
To land in fields of grass
Of suns and moons and stars
Not on a city
Of steam
Smoke
And crime
Stab wounds that pierce through flesh
I can see the pain on the streets
The murders
And the deaths
I won't look down
Or above
To the angels and the aliens
As I walk carefully on my tightrope
100 miles up from the ground
So high I'm in the clouds
The rope has finished
Now the only thing
Are the long and willowy steps
That will bring me back down to Earth
On grit and stone
Once again
But alas
Grit and stone
Is not my heart
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139,536 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Its a good one I would comment and its true that many wants to leave this planet to somewhere worth the peace of life and its cool when you pointed out that those who wants to leave to such unrealistic realm are afraid of landing back to where they so much want to leave.
Again, I like the extent of your figures of speech extracted to form this wonderful poem of yours and as well as make it comprehensible. Even the metaphors and hyperbole used are high sounding and effective in constructing the poem.
Just like all other poems, there are things one pointbout and for the writer to lay hold on and take notice of in time and moreover that's why its called a review.
Your words are striking but are unnotified in your context of writing, as this objected to the main idea of the poem. It is most unlike it for poets to write poems and not give out to the main thought in the lines of the poems as followed by the other, rather than make it oblivious.
Anyways, I like it and hope to review more interesting works of yours.
Thank you for your review and I may edit my work
Sorry for that comment down. I wanted to write a review.
This was completely different from the other writings of yours. It was written in a very simple and lucid language that makes it easy to read. It was actually a very thought-provoking poem. As long as I could interpret, you don't want to live on earth! You are tired
You want to fly away to some peaceful distant place where there is no murders and crimes but you are afraid that you might fall again on the earth. I liked the concept of window and the metaphors used in the poem.
Overall, it was an excellent work. Keep writing
(dropping in to say I deleted the blank comment, and friendly reminder you can ask any mod to delete a double comment OR we can convert a comment to a review if you just missed the option to submit it as a review, so you don't have to post it again ^.^ just saw this and thought I'd mention it!! )
@ShadowVyper thanks for telling.
Thank you so much for your review!
No problem