The clock tolled
With its deathly voice
Pronouncing my fears
With hollow noise
12’o’clock
The watch struck
Standing tall in the twilight sky
Singing the angel's lullaby
Of darkness and anxiety
Sleeping lies
Dawn awakens
Not tonight
The graves resurrected
Anxious and feeble
The choir sings
Like the sounds of a keyboard
Among the hush
And the dim presentations
Of dancing shadows and fleeting whistles
A bird sang
With a lustrous voice
The rags of a peasant
With a dignified poise
The tower still rang
I watched its descent
From the grave of night
Into the hour of resent
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,071 Literary Works • 672,991 Reviews
Leave a comment or review! Remember, the minimum review length is about 4 complete sentences. Wow too many personifications and oxymorons. its nice anyways to have this wonderful poem coming from you. Jus like stygianmoon17 said too many in approximate lines verses. it may not have been a blank verse or Free verse but I enjoyed it any way especially the one that said " graves resurrected and dawn awakens". its like a thrill and one would want to figure out how this works in the poem but just cannot because the next line to it is unfitting and undefined the one before it.
Realistically, this poem actually presents a rather and more innogarate way of viewing fiction.
For me I think the poem seems to present the happenings on the day of rapture.
"the choir sings like the sound of keyboard
among the hush
and the dim presentation
of dancing shadows and fleeting whistles"
All of these lines seems to buttress the fact of the poem being in a time of rapture.
I may not know the real theme of the poem for you the writer, but the imagery formed from the poem to me reflects the fact I'm trying to buttress.
Thank you for this wonderful wondrous poem.
thanks a lot....
Thank you so much, I will have to delve further into the lines and meaning of it for sure. And I like your interpretation of the poem. I'm glad that you liked it:)
Heyy stygianmoon17 here for a review
First off.. GOD those last lines struck hard.
It's the point isn't it ? For a poem to leave a lasting feeling. And this one just sticks.
The last few lines, the rhyme of "descent" and "resent", the choice of wording- it just makes for an epic finale. And the moment you finish reading you just go, "hmm, I should read this again."
This feels like a spur of the moment poem though, like a poem you suddenly came up with and wrote as the idea came to you. You probably were in your room listening to a bell tolling in the distance, and that's what makes this poem so raw. You just feel all the emotions behind it, no words are sugarcoated, no words are subtle- it's just a brutally honest and raw poem and I love that.
I'm just so sick of having to analyse deep poems while simple poems have so much more depth.
There's not much I have to say about this poem, maybe just the flow. The poem goes way too fast since there's little to no punctuation and the lines are maximum five words long, which would be fine but you just unpack so much in so little time. There's no real structure to this poem. You describe the bell tolling, then you move on to the twilight sky, then the dawn, then the piano, then this, then that, and every sentence you just describe something new. Maybe take more time developing that, for example having a slower pace with a small number of objects you describe, then quickening and going faster and faster in your descriptions. That would've mad more sense.
But apart for that, great poem !!
Thank you so much, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I'll take your suggestions- I did, like you say, write this on the spur of the moment and I agree that I could add more description. Thank you for your review
I am not good in reviewing poetry but this was an awesome one
Thank you