Your insightful eye morphs
Justifying the intimate bonds of expression
Prosperity is inevitable
As you resolve around Earth in a sought of acceptance
Your natural form is a discretion
What texture lurks under the comforting white-
A blank slate to be moulded
Familiarising yourself with marvelling audiences
Who ponder your presentations
Is your form the sustenance of wild imagination?
Is what we see a placebo
Of our own recognition?
Our resourceful eye perceiving the surreality of our own world
As you co-ordinate our sight
With our own contemplation
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This is a beautiful poem. It has an abstract emotion. And the vocabulary used is excellent. You have described clouds in such a detailed and poetic manner. I also write poems on nature, so I really liked and could relate to this one. My favourite line was : "Your natural form is a discretion"
Thank you so much, I do love writing on the beauty of nature, if you haven't maybe you should read John Keats- he too used to write beautiful poems on life.
Thank you so much for the review
Hello! My name is Via! I'm here for a review. So... let's get this party started!
First and foremost, I love the descriptions here. The vivid language describing the cloud, makes this poem very beautiful. I love poems that take something so simple, like a cloud, and turn it into something full of life and complexity. Kudos to you for that! The representation of nature is truly astounding! I love the way you kind of make the cloud it's own "character" of some source using phrases and words like "Is your..." and "your". Very tastefully done here.
My favorite lines in particular are
and this one
and this one
This poem doesn't really need stanzas since it's so short. I also like that occasionally there is some rhyming here. I normally don't care for rhyme inconsistencies, like "acceptance and expression" or "presentations and imagination", but the inconsistency kind of adds a bit of whimsical feeling to this poem, which layers it.
My only critiques are some of the lines are a tad muddled, which might take away from the overall image. For example the line
PS: Familiarizing and marveling is way it's supposed to be spelled.
When you read it out loud, it doesn't really sound as nice on the tongue as the others. I see what you're trying to say, but if there is a better way to say it, do it. Just a thought. This poem could also use some commas. While there are some question marks for punctuation, if there could be some periods and commas, I think it would make the format a bit more formal and maybe make it flow better. Finally, auto capitalization sucks! I know it, I think every poet knows it. It might just be a pet peeve of mine, but I wish not every line was capitalized in the beginning, since some of the lines are one sentence broken apart.
That's it.
Love the poem, very tasteful and beautiful! Keep writing!
Thank you so much for you review
You're welcome!
Hi,
Wow, this is a beautiful poem - your language and imagery are brilliant! However, personally for me, if you choose to edit and refine the poem, I feel as though at the beginning of the poem it might be beneficial if you could add a line or two at the beginning, that specifies you're talking about clouds so maybe:
Clouds, hanging in the sky,
Blue skylight you hide,
Your insightful eye morphs
Justifying the intimate bonds of expression
Prosperity is inevitable,
And then keep the poem as you have. But other than that, I love it - it's a great poem so well done and keep writing!
Thank you so much
This is beautifully descriptive. It's as if I can see the cloud as you describe it, or maybe I'm seeing the cloud through you seeing the cloud...?
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you have a real knack for poetry. This piece is beautifully created, and you can tell you took time to craft each and every word correctly. I think this is a beautiful representation of nature around us and how much we take it for granted. It makes me want to stay on this site and read more, but also to go outside and experience the beautiful snow outside my window. Thanks for sharing this with everyone-it's amazing!
I just can't get over the third-to-last line: "Our resourceful eye perceiving the surreality of our own world"
Anyway, keep writing! Specifically, poetry. Don't limit yourself by just doing poetry, but I love it so much and I would definitely read any works you make in the future!
Have a good day.
Peace,
Myre (it's a pen name)
Thank you so much, that's so kind of you