Young Writers Society

E - Everyone


by illy7896

Down by the creek

and the hay so sweet

There was a sun so yellow

high in the sky

Basking the white man's

tyrannic lies

Chains rattle

Jangling against

their heavy skin

Laboured with a hard day's work

to harvest food that they have never been given

The light

And the dawn

Oh so high and mighty! 

For lo ember kisses

of the ashes of their future

and their past

Lick their wordless lips

They pray to the Lord

for sweet relief

Naked and bare

against their leader's toxic rule


One day

they may be in heaven

Where they are free

A tug! 

And a pull... 


Drips down their warm bodies

Fluent and thirsty

Picking and lifting

the whisps of cotton

That they would never feel

The comfort

of clothing

May the stars bless these sweet slaves

who infest the past with shame

And guilt

That has not been felt-

for the weed that is slavery still exists

One that plagues. 

The illness are not the workers

But us

the followers

Of sinful hyms

Of pain and selfish

barren souls

At least

they have dignity

To stick with their own. 

And they survived

the grips

of our mistakes. 

But some errors

are still 

being erased. 

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User avatar

Points: 6
Reviews: 2

Tue Mar 30, 2021 12:02 am
wenxinqi says...

I loved this poem. It is very powerful and inspiring. I liked the way you used visual allusions, they were very beautiful. The imagery of your poem is also very descriptive. Great job!

illy7896 says...

Thank you:)

User avatar
23 Reviews

Points: 1966
Reviews: 23

Fri Mar 12, 2021 7:37 am
blueca wrote a review...

For the thematic content of the work, @frogforest has covered it wonderfully. This is a fantastic and very powerful piece about something really hard to talk about. The short lines draw out every word, making reading almost laborious in pace, which is a stellar choice given the subject matter and how you portrayed it. The dehumanization of enslaved people is an issue touched upon, and I think changing the language you use in the line "May the stars bless these sweet slaves" could show that they were and are still people instead of only slaves. That's really the only issue I could find in this poem, which is astounding. Great work, and keep writing!

illy7896 says...

Thank you so much for your review and I love your suggestion

User avatar
12 Reviews

Points: 129
Reviews: 12

Fri Mar 12, 2021 1:50 am
frogforest wrote a review...

I feel like everyone should have to read this. And like not in a school setting because I think that ruins everything. Like people should all, at one point in their life, read through this and spend some time thinking about it. Because AGAIN you have written a really powerful piece. So many people don't understand slavery as a concept as well as the psychological aspects of it. Nowadays there is a lot of misinformation and undereducation on the topic. Your poem really tackles these topics in a way that is almost painful to read because of the truth and history behind the words.
I like how in the ending you tied it into how this is important to know in the modern world. Slavery still exists today, and even in places where it doesn't, there are still impacts on society we can see. The final lines: "But some errors/are still/being erased." definitely captured this theme really well.
The beginning is super detailed while still easy to read and short, and I am a huge fan of that. It means that people of almost all ages could get a vivid picture of slavery when they read it. The most impactful lines in the beginning were (in my opinion); " Basking the white man's / tyrannic lies/ Chains rattle / Jangling against / their heavy skin". So many people don't understand that slavery was so much more than forced labor. It was dehumanization and beyond. Another thing that this line prompts the audience to think about is white privilege, and how it disadvantages many minorities and people of color. Internalized racism in today's modern society is something that should not exist, but does.
Another few lines that got me on the edge of my seat were, "That has not been felt- /for the weed that is slavery still exists / One that plagues. / The illness are not the workers / But us /the followers". It holds the reader at a sort of accountability. It warns of the dangers of denying history and the struggles of others.
I can't even explain how gripping and though provoking your work here is. Where I live it's kind of rare for people accept how wrong and inhumane slavery was, and how it still impacts people today. The US has a huge history with racism and discrimination, but yet rarely recognizes this.
I have no suggestions except this: KEEP WRITING OMG YOU'RE AMAZING
But seriously this piece is one for the records.

illy7896 says...

You're too nice and I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. Once again, I'm really glad that you agree because it still is an issue today and its something that is very hard to comprehend and school kind of fails at that. And it still happens today which they dont really tell us about. There's just so much to say on the subject of racism and we are kind of partly go blame because we accept what happens in the world and just shrug it off when we should do something about it!! Thank you so much for your review and I'm glad that you liked it!

But even the worst decisions we make don't necessarily remove us from the circle of humanity.
— Wes Moore, The Other Wes Moore