I wish that I had spoken up
Each time insensitive words
Had knocked me from my feet
Raised my voice
And shoot a deathly glare
Like they did to me
*
I wish that I had finished each fight
Where I never punched back
With an accent of wisdom
Rather than grit my teeth
*
I wish that I didn't let people
Play me like a violin
And take advantage of my patience
Peg me up to dry
After they washed me down with their own sins
*
I wish that I didn't buckle
Under the pressure of expectations
'Words not violence'
Some people don't understand
Basic words like please
*
I wish that I did not think
And my mind empty
And my heart full of rage
Because then I wouldn't worry
Of what they thought of me
*
I wish that I knew how strong I was
That's what people tell me
I'm a survivor
And a fighter
Who never hits back
Too tough to die
But sometimes I feel so weak
*
I wish that I didn't wish for things
That only I can deliver
I won't ask
My fairy godmother
*
I don't wish anymore
But I do and I try
And to those people
Who didn't call me by my name
And address me like a human- being
Instead a liar and a fiend
So they could profit their self-esteem
I'm not that violin anymore
To be plucked and played
I am the warrior
Who knows not of defeat
Trained to have courage and power
Emerging from the shadow of the meek
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139,389 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Wow, this is beautiful!
A lot of people will be able to relate to this poem - I feel as though you have crafted a poem which explores a thought cycle of a person who's reflecting upon the mistakes and worser parts of their life, wishing that they'd done something to resolve the situation there and then. Your imagery is fantastic, you feel as though you're there listening to the speaker and expericing each one of their memories - well done for that. Reading it made me feel reflective over own incidents upon my life making me realise that we are all so much stronger than we realise. Honestly, this a fantastic poem, I have no other suggestions for improvement - you should share it around as much as you possibly can because a lot of people will be able to relate and appreciate this for the fantastic piece of literature you have crafted. Well done and keep writing
That's so kind, I'm really glad that you can relate to this.
10/10 mind blowing, the honesty in this left me shook. The contrast when you said "I wish that I didn't let people play me like a violin" then towards the end "I'm not that violin anymore" was beautiful. I liked the emphasis and frankness that laced the comparison. I could feel the change in persona, through your words. Feel your new found strength and growth. Your use of imagery and metaphor is bloody brilliant. You're a phenomenal poet, and I hope you never stop writing
Thank you very much, that's so kind of you
I give it a 10000000000 %
You are such a great writer and this poem definitely made you think. I love the way that you directed the mood of the poem and used multiple poetry devices.
And take advantage of my patience
Peg me up to dry
After they washed me down with their own sins
When I read this part it dug deep into my soul because you used great imagery here and it wa like you could see them hanging a fabric on a clothes hang. this was by far one of the best poems I have ever read!
Thank you so much
Wow this is an amazing poem. I love the way you worded it, i personally love the part about "playing me like a violin." This is showing that your subject is not in control of others taking advantage of them. I also love the ending where they are coming out of the shadows and standing up for themselves. A really hard thing for writers to do is show pain and sorrow in the perfect way, and you accomplished that perfectly. Once again this poem is awesome and definitely keep writing!
Thank you so much
Hey there, @stygianmoon17 here for a review
First things first, wow. This poem is absolutely awesome !!
just the energy behind it, the motivation, I totally see someone reading this to encourage soldiers before going into battle to be honest xD
I also love how you specifically used the violin as choice as instrument, since it is an instrument used to grieve and usually seen as a dark, depressing, mysterious and just basically the instrument played by broken people. Which kinda offended me as I am a violin player and I'm sick of that stereotype. The violin can be used to bring joy and energy too you know, it's a versatile instrument. The way it mirrored back at the last stanza makes it all the more better, as you stop being the instrument that's "played" by other people.
I really don't have anything to say about this poem, well except for the violin bit, but that's more personal than technical. If I was an English teacher I'd probably marvel at how you picked this malevolent instrument-
-but except for that, I loved the poem! It's fabulously motivating and I just love it <3
Thank you so much, that's so kind of you. I love the violin too, and well done for being a violinist- that's awesome. I do totally agree that the violin can be used as a happy and upbeat instrument, but like you said, it is often seen as dark and sad- but in a beautiful way at least, so like you said, that's why I chose it for my poem. I'm so glad that you liked it