here I am

Great job on the poem, I really liked it, so I am going to dive straight into it.

1. In the beginning and throughout the poem everything is not capitalized. Was this intentional, because traditionally it would be capitalized. For example,

"when will you return?

must I wait for you any longer?

I used to see you

in the moon’s craters

but now all is stardust."

2. You had a lot of good punctuation use with your periods, commas, and question marks when you stated a lot of questions in your poem. For example,

"here I am

we are drowning in this cacophonous

noise of waterfall, but what happened

to the infants of rain? gently gently

gliding cumulonimbus back into its umbrella"


3. You had a lot of description which made it really good, for example.

"here you are

gone, lost in your mind and the tunnels

that are damp and hideous and

crawling with mildew

but I am waiting here for you."


I really liked your ending though, the part where it says.

"like the rain, I live to fall. "

The imagery was great in it and I felt the emotion in it.

Overall your lines where so smart, and had a great flow to them. I felt every emotion through your poem, and I can't wait to read what you write next.

Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL

I have to start off this review by saying how much i adore the line "we are drowning in this cacophonous / noise of waterfall, but what happened / to the infants of rain?". Totally unique and it has such a beautiful flow to it. That's the first thing Secondly is the opening lines...so smart...looking for words so of course you'd need to search the depths of the heart for the right ones, not the mind but the heart. I love that visual so much.

The feelings of longing that you create in this is spectacular and boy can I relate to it. It seems to me that this person is lost in themselves and the other person cannot find them and wonders if they'll ever return to who they were. That's how I interpreted it anyway, this is very well done I loved everything about it.

Hi there! I'm here this morning to review some more writing, especially poetry. So, I thought I'd try this!

here I am

searching for words again.

if I could rip open my breastbone

I would. to see. more clearly.

here I am

watching the rain cascade.

create a river if you can float

or swim. in the shallows. deeper now.

here you are

gone, lost in your mind and the tunnels

that are damp and hideous and

crawling with mildew

but I am waiting here for you.

when will you return?

must I wait for you any longer?

I used to see you

in the moon’s craters

but now all is stardust.

like the rain, I live to fall.