Young Writers Society

Hello Tuesday here for a review.

I like to begin that this poem truly deserved the spotlight. I liked the poem as a whole because it has a message as to people since we see all colors, just some that aren't there. Also it gives the reader a chance to use their imagination when they read a poem like this. I enjoyed the message you put into this poem and the questions you asked in this poem.

Nitpick(s):

Imagine, the flowers would of all been black,

and the the sky would be all white.

Nobody thought much about it.

Back then, it was a normal sight.

Wow, I'm really surprised how this turned out. This totally deserved the spotlight. So congrats, SnazzyPencil, for another successful piece written.

But maybe we can't see all the colors fully,
that the world has for us to find.
Maybe we are all just like we were then,
still a little colorblind.

Imagine, the flowers would of all been black,
and the sky would be all white.
Nobody thought much about it.
Back then, it was a normal sight.

Hey SnazzyPencil,

Firstly, let me tell you that you've written an amazingly beautiful poem. The concept, the idea, the thought process, everything is just perfect. Your poem had many colors, of wonder, flow, rhythm. So to say you of all the people are not colorblind
Happy writing!

-Ishita Dutt

This was a very wonderful poem! I really loved the deep yet simple meaning of the poem. The poem had a very nice flow to it, which made it easier to just roll along through the poem and enjoy it. Personally, I have a deep regard for art, so a poem about colours and the history of art would obviously make it to my top charts, and this poem has done just that.
As with what liv1997 wrote in his review, saying "others" in "teal, beige, and others" did somewhat disrupt the flow and slowed me down a tad, but other than that I can't find many more issues other than the fact that I'll be reading this poem for the rest of my life.

I like this a lot. I love how easy it flows and is simple to understand. The message of this poem is super meaningful and I like that; a simple poem with a deep message. You did a really good job.

The only part I didn't particularly like was in the second to last stanza when you said "teal, beige, and others." I felt like the word others didn't flow as nicely as the rest of the poem. I don't have a specific suggestion of what to put there, just maybe something that goes a long with the rhythm of the rest of the poem.

Overall, it was beautifully written, please write more!!

Sorry, I just wanted to point out a cool fact.

Humans have 3 types of colour-receptive cones, Red, Green, and Blue. And look at the spectrum we see in the world around us.
Now mantis shrimps... They've got sixteen. This doesn't mean they see more vivid reds. It means they see colours that our brains are incapable of processing.

We're really darn colourblind. XD

i agree with the theme of ur poem all of us are truly a colorblind in our busy schedule we often slip out to see the variant colors nature holds for us. as for the poem it is lovely. its truly na awsome one. the way u described the colorsinthe memories we cherish, in our daily life . the line where u sweetly narrate that a few bright colors make our day is worth of appreciation. i am myshelf a patron of writing as well as a patron of painting. so for me this poem has a artisictic value. congrats on a good work.

This is now my favorite poem in the history of poems... that's all

I really liked this poem, especially how you ended it. I like how it starts off showing how simple people and life used to be like seeing only two colors then evolved into being more complex and seeing new colors and different variations of colors. I also like the rhyme scheme you used, it worked well for the poem. Keep up the good work!

This poem is a little emotional for me as I love Art. Colours mean everything to me because they are my representation of certain objects or people, so I could deeply relate to your poem. I agree with your last verse/stanza. I would say I'm still "colourblind" in a sense, because I sometimes don't appreciate the colours around me; my mind's unable to grasp it, maybe it's because I don't *see*, as you beautifully pointed out.

Thanks for sharing such a heart touching poem with us. It made my day!

Well done, and keep writing!

Hello SnazzyPencil, Wonderwoman is here to review your poem. I thought this was a very interesting poem. It made me think of what we see with our minds instead of our eyes. I commend you for making this long and smooth. Lets get down to business. 1st off:

Back then they could only make black and white things,

the photos, they were plain and old.

But what if everything was just two colors?

Without any yellows or golds.

You start the poem off with an interesting question: But what if everything was just two colors? Huh.

But then you say:

Imagine, the flowers would of all been black,

and the the sky would be all white.

Nobody thought much about it.

Back then, it was a normal sight.

Are you talking about in pictures and movies it was black and white? That makes sense. But you say "it was a normal sight." Maybe not? Also in the 6th stanza you said:

and the the sky would be all white.

The two "the" they aren't necessary but if you want to keep them for character then put:

And the--the sky would be all white. The dashes make it correct or you can just take away one of "the".

2nd: I know many people wont say it but you should capitalize the first word in every stanza because it's standard English.

3rd:

But what if something else was dull,

like, a humans' mind?

They could only see two colors back then,

I think they were colorblind.

I would change: like, a humans' mind? To: Like, a human's mind? Or: Like a human mind.

That's it for corrections I really enjoyed your poem and I think it was very clever and I know you put a lot of effort into it. So keep writing and NEVER get discouraged!

~\/\/onder