That dude, that dude,
sat in some food.
Punched a small kid...
he was in a bad mood.
~
That girl, that girl,
started to hurl.
Ate a french fry
and called it "Fred Earl".
~
Miss Sue, Miss Sue,
was feeling blue.
She ate some ants
but only a few.
~
Old Ted, old Ted,
had a soft head.
Got hit in the noggin,
and now he is dead.
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138,940 Literary Works • 672,331 Reviews
Hey Snazzy..here again for another review.
This poem doesn't really much sense.It doesn't have any central theme or idea unlike your other poems.But I'm sure it'd do good for Kid's books.Whatever it is one things for sure...it did make me laugh..except for that unexpected ending.
"That dude, that dude,
sat in some food.
Punched a small kid...
he was in a bad mood."
Don't you think the 2nd line should be 'sat with some food',that's something I think though..
The rest of the poem is good.I don't see much to edit.Liked the rhymes all the way down.
Good work!..Looking forward for others too..
Hope this review was of help.
-Lily^_^.
I just love this poem. The riming is perfect and it is very funny if you ask me. So I do hope you have a good day/ night. Oh and I hope you keep on righting. Pleas let me no when you have posted a novel, chapter are a paragraph. Hay SnazzyI loved the poem and I am looking for word to reading the next one, and I do hope you keep on righting fantastic.
From jessiebear.
There's something quite humorous about this xD It kind of reminds me of Maxwell's Silver Hammer by the Beatles. Nice job~:)
so im sitting here scrolling through the green room and i see this and I'm like ok lets see this. i click read and say what, no just what, afterwards a laughed though so. but now a review well i like it a little violent at the start but i like the rest it makes no sense what its about but its cute, i guess im saying. first i thought this would be a good children's poem like something silverstien would write except i find his stuff a little creepy and depressing so. but keep going its your calling and cant wait to read more of these.
Seriously, I really liked your poem. Made me laugh. Great rhyming. No critique really. I loved reading it all. I'm no grammar expert but I see no mistakes. I needed a mood lightnener and you provided it. So tired seeing all these depressing poems, a happy one is a nice change. Brilliantly done.
Thank you.
This girl, this girl
Will give it a whirl
Review, review
That's what I'll do
Your poem, this poem
It made me laugh
Chuckling for a minute and a half
My poem, my poem
I know it sucks
Don't mind this funny little duck...
Great job. I can't find anything to suggest or critique. I really enjoyed the humorous tone and the rhyme scheme. If I was you I would keep writing at 11 seems to work well. Anyways, great poem. Keep writing.
Hi new friend!
So, about your poem. I just want to tell you that I really find it amusing all over, and just love every part of it. I just like a break from all the gloomy, somber poems, and really enjoy the happy go lucky type of the poems. So, I can't really find any mistakes, but, don't just take my word for it, because I can be "blind" sometimes. So, keep up the good work!
With reviews,
JustOneMorePoem
Thank you!
Wow, this is really a humorous poem; and I mean it!
I like all the stanzas (especially the third stanza.)
Keep up the good and funny work!!
Thanks!