You know,
there was always something I liked about you.
It wasn't your hair,
or your homemade stew-
It wasn't your cat,
your looks (which are flat),
I believe I have always
liked your hat.
-
It's so elegant,
that thing perched on your head.
With the brown the gold
the black the red.
I don't know if I've said,
but I don't like your head.
It's kind of wavy-
the hair's kind of dead.
-
But Lord have mercy
it's that beautiful hat!
I don't have one
that looks like that.
Mine are too fat,
too cozy or flat.
I really, really
like your hat.
-
So I think, with my wonderful wit,
that when you are dead
I'll rip it right off your head.
And then, I think, I'll wear it.
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138,940 Literary Works • 672,331 Reviews
I've got to say, this had quite the twist and the turn. It was quite humorous and I've got t say I really really like that dark sense of humor.
Well there's not much to review on but I'll try my best.
Your formatting is really nice, and you use the right emphasis like when you used italics on your last phrase.
Your spelling is all good as well, and so is your rhyming.
This poem seems to tell a small short story, giving details and clues on the characters friends. I'm not sure if you had something going for it, like a purpose (like what were taught in class lol) but it's really good and I like it. it's quite fun and quirky.
While reading this I was thinking, Wow, this could be a really cute children's story if put into that format! Then I made it to the last part. xD Oh well. Still, it's really fun and brilliant regardless.
Hi Harry here for a review:
I liked this poem, but it is a little depressing. First of your punctuation was good and your spelling was perfect. And you also add feeling to your words. But you need to describe why you like the hat more than the person. You never explained that. I like this part: So I think, with my wonderful wit,
that when you are dead
I'll rip it right off your head.
And then, I think, I'll wear it. you are saying that this is a great hat to wait for the person wearing it to die so you can have it, it is depressing but true, you are at least willing to wait and not kill the person for it. But you have never explained why you don't like the person but you did describe him well. In this part: It's so elegant,
that thing perched on your head.
With the brown the gold
the black the red.
I don't know if I've said,
but I don't like your head.
It's kind of wavy-
the hair's kind of dead. You describe what a hat can do for a person and why you never liked the person. Your character wants the hat for himself but you never explain why, maybe add more detail to the poem and explain why he liked it. Over all it was a great poem and I look foreword to reading more of your work. Happy writing. And keep up the good work:)