To see, is to be blind.
To hear, is to be deaf.
Because at the beginning of the day,
only the end is left.
-
To feel is not to be felt.
To taste is to be tasteless.
Because getting up and falling back down
is really, actually painless.
-
To feel sad, is to be happy.
To feel good, is to be bad.
Because having your wisdom teeth pulled out
was the best feeling you ever had.
-
To shut out a person, is to let them in.
To start to leave, is really to forever stay.
Because all these things are true, and more,
when it's opposite day.
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138,940 Literary Works • 672,331 Reviews
Hey. I really enjoyed this work--and really like your work in general. This poem is funny,serious, and true all at the same time. The rhyme scheme was an excellent choice and reinforced the theme of the work. Punctuation and spelling is impeccable. You did a great job with this piece. I'm looking forward to your next piece.
groganbabygirl
Hi!
I really liked your poem! Your rhyming is on point - the flow is good and it was nicely structured.
The main thing I would have changed was the ending, I actually think that what the main part of your poem says is true, for example I completely agree with "to feel is not to be felt" - and many other of the opposite you contrasted are actually true. I think that's why I really liked your main poem - until I came to the ending "when it's opposite day" - and found out that you actually don't agree with what you've just written - it's probably more personal but maybe rethink that. I also think the line: "Because having your wisdom teeth pulled out / was the best feeling you ever had." doesn't quite fit with the rest of the poem - I get what you're trying to say, but it sounds too relatable and real compared to the abstractness of the rest of the poem. Lastly, I think the title wasn't quite fitting - maybe change it to something else.
Sorry it may sound harsh - but really they're minor things and the poem overall was really well written. As I said before, your rhyming is excellent, it fits perfectly with the structure so that the overall flow of the poem when reading it, is perfect. That was really good. I also loved how the first two lines of every verse was about the opposites, but you changed the structure for the last two - it's a really effective technique and I actually use it in some of my works. And apart from the "opposite day" thing, I actually really liked what you were conveying, like I said, I completely agree with most of what you were saying, even though judging by the ending, this wasn't your intention.
Anyway, amazing poem - keep writing I would love to see more of your work!
Tick tock
Thanks for the review!
The idea I was trying to get at, was to have complete opposites and try to convey a "warm-ish" feeling, and then break it down at the end to make it kind of funny.
Anyway, thanks again for the review!
No worries! And yes- that makes more sense, thank you!
beautiful poem.