A sick and dying boy
on a hopeless cloudy day.
"Don't worry daddy," he said,
"healing is only a prayer away."
~
A young motherless child,
at a grave she lay.
"Oh God, I know," she said,
"love is only a prayer away."
~
The old man wasn't ready to go,
but a pastor showed him the way.
"You know," he said slowly,
"ease is only a prayer away."
~
Jesus is knocking on your door,
and you can hear him say,
"everlasting life is waiting,
it's only a prayer away..."
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140,099 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Woooowww!!!!( I think I need to add more 'O's to that word);)
.I'd like to point out some tiny little parts which can be edited if liked.
You got me frozen for while...It's I think the best poem I've read of your's.So beautifully described the power of prayer.I don't really find any flaws here...But since I'm here for a review...it's review day after all...
I suggest to capitalize the letter 'd' in'daddy in the third line.,since that is a noun.
The words 'healing','love','ease' and 'everlasting'(that's a choice though) can be started with capitals.
Everything else is perfect!!!!!!!!This poem is simply beautiful!!Wish I could give trillion likes without having to unlike it at all...Does anyone knows how?that'd surely be a miracle if I could....."Miracle is just a prayer away".....
Love your works buddy,Keep posting.....Really eager to comment on your other Amazing poems.
P.S- Sorry for the nitpicks..
-Lily^_^.
This is beautiful. This almost made me cry. Keep writing. With the works I have read so far, I love them. Keep writing.
Oh wow.
I decided to read this because it looked interesting. As I read this for some reason it is hitting me emotionally.
Great job and keep on writing
Thank you.
This is simply beautiful. The more of your work I read, the more I love your style. I did happen to catch some capitalization errors. I'm not sure if the lack of capitalization of the first letter of each line was intentional or not. But aside from that, "daddy" in the first stanza should be capitalized as it is a noun of direct address. Also, the first letter of a quote needs to be capitalized, you have errors there in all four stanzas. One other minor thing I caught was between young and motherless in stanza two, there should be a comma. Besides that, great job!!
groganbabygirl
This is beautiful! Absolutely wonderful! I liked the fact that it flowed nicely with the rhythm and tempo. Also I am struggling right now with my grandpa being gone for just over a year now, and I just have to say to myself, "He's only just a prayer away." This helps me out tonight
I was really hurting. I guess I knew it all along but it is nice to hear someone else say it too. And you are absolutely right with the idea in this poem, God is only a prayer away. This was so beautiful!! Thank you again for writing it.
Flawless, meaningful and fulfilling.
GREAT IDEA! I could go on and on telling you how amazing this was!
Waffle~
Hey there! I have reviewed/posted/published anything on here for like a couple weeks - and I'm new, ha.
Well on with the review. Firstly, you have a lovely poem here, with a lot of heart. It's rather beautiful! It is not too complex, yet it conveys a clear message. love the organization of your piece, the way you feature a different individual in each stanza whilst all sharing a common theme. Punctuation is great too, in my opinion, anyway. It helps your flow. Your flow is in fact very nice. I also really enjoyed the dialogue. As for criticism, I don't really have much, to be honest. I definitely have my own views on religion, but the poem itself is pleasant.
Note: I think you missed an error in the last stanza: "and you can here him so." I'm sure you mean "hear." I'm not sure if the other review already pointed this out.
Anyway, great job!
Hey! Maddie here with a poetry review for you!
I like the subtle build-up of the religious ideas. I like to believe that this is truly what will happen when the time comes, because it is a type of comfort to know that there is something beyond the lives we have now. The way you turned the negative situations into ones that could be happy or comforting is very nicely done too, it makes you feel a type of content when you think about death.
In terms of the technical side of this poem, I think you worded it nicely. People tended to get really complex when it comes to this topic, so it's nice to see something a bit simplistic handling the same topic, and handling it quite well. I also applaud you for using rhyming without making it really cheesy. That's really hard to do, especially with this topic. Congrats
Well, I honestly don't know what else to say about this lol
Great piece and I look forward to seeing more work!
Keep writing!
~Maddie
I enjoyed this poem, it has the same views as me so I naturally felt a certain drawing towards it. However, it would be best should I refrain from bias as much as possible throughout this review, so as far as a listener goes, Amen Brother. As far as a reviewer goes I can tell this poem bears a heavy load in the form of the spiritual theme (I am assuming you wrote this to carry the theme). Now, if you use the poem as a vessel for the theme you must insure in solid and headstrong verses. Through the first three stanzas you use the rhyming repetition -ay (kudos, that can be tough) but the rhyming itself has uneven number of syllables with the main phrase "only a prayer away". So evening out the meters of the second and fourth lines could totally help improving this poem. Also, the fourth stanza has the same fourth line repetition but not the same rhyme scheme, that could also be improved on. Overall the emotions are powerful and with a steady rhythm and rhyme scheme could take the reader for a ride, turn this coal into a diamond. Keep at it!