Silence

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started. :subconscious

So, I myself did not notice any spelling or grammar mistakes so that is fantastic! Some one else might though. The flow was perfect too. Nothing to bumpy or oddly worded.

Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that you have had some peace. Your thoughts were once peaceful and did not bring you down. But, as if you were expecting it, something darker came and ruined what happy things you had thought. You were just waiting, your subconsious knowing what was coming. It swiped away what happiness you had and left you bare, only dust, old and horrid thoughts to accompany you some days. You mind was once calm and collected, your world all at peace. Not anymore.

Otherwise, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I need to go now, Grim has some more dead to reap and I ran out of cocoa for him. Cheerios and fruit loops to you!

I really loveeee this!

You are so good I can relate to this one so much. I love to hear silence....that can make me happy. But sometimes is silcence hard to find in these days. The Earth can be a little bit noisy hahaa... but I can find also silence in music that is why I love music so much. Silence let ut speak and not speak. Silence is the most beautiful thing that is hard to find. But if we truly listen to our Heart, it is somewhere buried! And sometimes we must dig deep to find it, sometimes not...

Silence can be loud but it is the most powerful sound I ever have hear!
When silence can scream that is not pretty, silence must be pretty and filled with safeness!
When we hear silence we are safe and when we here silence, that's everything we need

Love: Bree

Jack here for a short review.

I see everyone else has already gone through this, but I couldn't help but leave a short review, because I absolutely love you poems, and also all your other poems, you have written before, If it wasn't review day, this would for sure be In the literary spotlight, with 7 likes! great job, you never fail to surprise me on how great some poems are!

This was a very short but sweet poem, and I like that a lot, One because I hate reading a lot on a computer, 2 because if the writer successfully manages to write a poem that in such little words it is still full of emotion which make's it so powerful. And you my friend have managed to do that, so great job on that part, I mean you've only been here since October, and all your poems are so wonderful, you must have had a lot of talent growing up!

I think through out this poem, you selected very précis words, that were just wonderfully chosen, I love the line with the rabbit, don't know why but it just brings back my child hood a lot!

Through out the poem, I thought it was some kind of happy story, but I don't know why, but at the end I felt very sad, Didn't really understand why, but it was a good kind of sad, like maybe it was because the poem ended, but I felt like there was also a deeper meaning to this poem, may just be my imagination, but I don't think it is. You made me really wonder about this poem which is great, because I love wondering, so thankyou.

Overall there isn't much else to compliment you on, but either way it was a beautiful piece, and I loved it, thankyou so much for sharing it with me, I really appreciate it. So a thumbs up!! from me, and I hope to read more of your poems/works in the near future. So that's all, Great job,( one more time) WOW

Jack

hello Snazzy:)

Wow! I LOVE this poem so much!
Being a lover of silence myself, of course.
You displayed it so perfectly. The rhyming and rhythm scheme was awesome, too!

Perfectly portraying silence itself, while not being overly deep and dark...it almost dances when you read it aloud.

My only suggestion is to break these up into stanzas of 2 or 4 lines.

Otherwise I love it! Obviously. I already said that.
This poem is right up my ally. Great job with it.

keep writing
~iron.n

This was very good. I would like to saw that the line "crept up, so free." So free should be on the next line to keep up with your pattern. I don't know if periods are necessary, but that's your choice. And I would recommend thinking about changing "the beautiful sound" to "that beautiful".

Cool poem! I would like to tell you a couple tips for improving this grammatically, and wording-wise.

The first quick thing is that all lines of a poem should be capitalized. Also, poems follow all normal punctuation rules, so make sure you wrote that following them. Maybe put commas after the first two lines, and then a semi-colon after the third. After "and a gentle embrace," I encourage you to consider putting a comma instead of a period.

I'm also pretty sure you meant this to be in stanzas, and if not, I would consider it. In order to do that, put a space between each stanza, and put a period in each of those empty lines.

I could relate to this poem. I, too, love silence. Unless it's the awkward kind. But if I'm in my room alone, and it's silent and I'm laying in my bed, sometimes I get this feeling of complete peace and relaxation. It's awesome. It does kind of embrace you like a hug, as you said.

Awesome job! Thanks for sharing your work with YWS!

I like this! Though, there shouldn't be a period after 'feeling'. When I read it, I of course knew what you meant, but the comma indicates a pause, basically, and there shouldn't be a pause if you're continuing on freely.
Other than that, though, you did a really good job with this. Even with the short stanzas, it worked out well together. It all fits. It FLOWS, which is one of the best things one could do when writing.
Great job! Overall- amazing.
Can't wait to see more from you!
~Shiny

Hiya, Snazzy! ^.^

I'm here to review this lovely piece to get my next shiny star and to help you out. I'm not the best reviewer of poetry (or just a plain reviewer xD), but I will try my best.

My mental rest

My solid ground

My mind at peace

the beautiful sound.

With glorious calm

and a gentle embrace.

This wonderful feeling,

just lights up my face!

Then I wonder how,

it ever came here.