Rhyming For Me!

by Snazzy

Published October 28, 2015

E - Everyone

In Poems

Poetry can come

in many different ways...

Some of them don't rhyme - 

and I ask, why this phase?

~

I always fail, 

at poems that don't rhyme.

They end up in the trash-

they waste all my time.

~

Sure they're emotional,

they definitely show it.

But when it comes to non-rhyming

I'm not a poet.

~

Most people are good at it,

but mine always end bad.

"Band-aids are for wimps"

was an end, one had had.

~

I'm not being mean-

I have nothing against free-verse.

Just sometimes I wish

They'd take a ride in a hearse.

~

(And run off a cliff,

and wreck in the tree tops.

And then catch on fire,

and forced to eat rag mops.)

~

My non-rhyming poems,

I don't have much to say.

But I'd take rhyming ones

any time of day.

(A/N: I tried to keep spaces between, but they won't stay when I publish... :( )

Comments & reviews · 4
HolographicLadybug wrote a review Review · Nov 14, 2015

Greetings! This is new for me (reviewing poetry), but I'll give it a gander!


It's a little funny how you would expect a poem about not liking to rhyme would be not in rhyme....? Or maybe not, I don't know. (It would be ironic, though!)

For me, the second-last verse is completely random. Not unnecessary, but random. I like it. It's funny and I think it makes sense. To me.

I really don't have much else to say other than that this is cool and a good poem. This is strange because I don't really like poetry. But I liked this one! :)

I have probably been no use to you, but I guess that knowing that at least one person likes this is good. (Or several people... You get the idea.)

~Holographic Ladybug

User avatar
TwilightMuse
Review
TwilightMuse wrote a review Review · Oct 29, 2015

Hey there! TwilightMuse has come to review!

I found this adorable and funny, a very well done poem all together.

was an end, one had had
I feel like this line doesn't work very well. The "had had" just doesn't fit. I understand that it rhymes but there is probably a better way to say it.

and forced to eat rag mops
It might just be me but I don't really understand what this part means. Maybe another line would work better?

But I'd take rhyming ones
any time of day
I really like this as an ending, I think it's a concise way to end and it fits very well

Great poem! Can't wait to read more from you!

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MrMuddyPig
Comment
MrMuddyPig commented Comment · Oct 29, 2015

Nice! I read this like it was a beatbox battle.

Don't really know what you mean by (this phase) Are you trying to say it doesn't rhyme?

That's it!

I don't have much to say

But I will write any reviews for you

any time of the day!


Bye and keep writing with your great mind!

~MrMuddyPig!

User avatar
felistia
Review
felistia wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2015

Hi Felistia here with a short review.

Ha ha. That was clever and funny, a bit like what I meant to do with my I Hate Math one, but much better. This is almost perfect. The only problem I have was that I think in the line (they'd take a ride in a hearse) it felt a little forced. My favourite part was the ending. It was a neat way to finish the poem.
Have a great day/night

Snazzy replied · Oct 28, 2015

Okay, I'll look into that! :D Thanks for the feedback!! :)



"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites