Winter

by Snazzy

Published August 22, 2016

In Poems

I know they want you gone,

but please - don't go.

I enjoy you too much,

I love the snow.

~

I love how you cover the ground,

with a blanket of white.

It makes everything so beautiful,

it's a wonderful sight.

~

I love how your icicles hang,

with a dangerous grace.

Crystal clear and icy,

they light up my face.

~

I don't mind the cold,

it's rather comforting to me.

It makes me feel wonderful,

it makes me feel free.

~

I want the snow to stay!

It makes everything look,

like a winter wonderland,

or a picture from a book.

~

I know they want you gone,

but they don't even know.

I enjoy you too much,

Winter, please don't go.

Comments & reviews · 4
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deleted21
Review
deleted21 wrote a review Review · Aug 28, 2016

Snaaaaaaaaaaazy! :D

That was a Hi! :D I haven't read any of your poetry for a while and thiiiis--I'm loving this! Your poetry is always soothing- something I love about them! Plus, in this hot waves I'm having right now in my place, this poetry sounds like icecream! I really do miss the winter too! :') Another reason that I miss winter is: I don't get to wear my Sherlock-overcoat in this warmish season! :P

Things I love about your poem: It's well organized and well thought but, simple! Sweet and simple. Liked how you've also specified some little things. (Snow, icicles)

I love how you cover the ground,
with a blanket of white.
It makes everything so beautiful,
it's a wonderful sight.


Snow is always beautiful! "Blanket of ice" sounds so comforting here!

I love how your icicles hang,
with a dangerous grace.
Crystal clear and icy,
they light up my face.


Some things are rather dangerously beautiful, aren't they? :)

Anywaaay, not good at reviewing things I don't disagree with, haha! ;) Thoroughly loved your poem, keep writing! Good luck with everything you do! And, Happy Review Day!

P.S. SNOWFLAKES! :O :')

Also, Hello from my team, Team Jawbreaker! :D

Image

Snazzy replied · Aug 28, 2016

Thanks so much for the review!!!

(now, to review for TEAM JOLLY RANCHER :D :D )

User avatar
Astronomer
Review
Astronomer wrote a review Review · Aug 28, 2016

Hey, SnazzyPencil! (nice name)

This is Moonwatcher here with a review. Apologies if this is short, I'm on mobile, and that can be dreadful. However, I shall try my best to help! This is a bit of a nitpick, but I noticed that all of the stanzas start in "I". You also used "I love" and "I want" twice. I don't know if this is intentional, but it's repetetive. Some lines are a bit all over the place. Such as,
"I know they want you gone,
but they don't even know."

You just ended the sentence. And then continued. The punctuation is also odd, as it allows a sentence to end with a period, and /then/ you continue giving a description/reason/etc. I suggest replacing some periods with some commas.

As for imagery, you were very descriptive! Nice job!

This is all I can really help you with. Keep it up!

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pseudonym123 Comment
pseudonym123 commented Comment · Aug 23, 2016

it seemed like your inner thoughts and emotions. A representation of how much you value this kind of emotion. Perhaps a memory or a person. Not sure though, this is just my opinion... :)

User avatar
5kKitty
Review
5kKitty wrote a review Review · Aug 23, 2016

Hola! So here are my nice comments (before I get critical of your poem):

This seems like it took a lot of hard work, which I applaud. The rhyming was fantastic and you communicated your wish, for winter to stay, very clearly. The 2nd and 4th stanzas were really good; and your opening and closing was put together well.

Now onto my mean comments (of which there is only one):

"I like how it makes everything look, like a winter wonderland, or a picture from a book."
(In my opinion, this wasn't as smoothly carried out as the rest of the poem. I'm honestly not sure how you could make it better...maybe take out the "I like how..." and just put "It makes everything look..." I hope this helps!)

Overall, this was a great piece of poetry and I look forward to reading more from you!

- 5kKitty

Snazzy replied · Aug 23, 2016

Thanks for the review! :D



The best books... are those that tell you what you know already.
— George Orwell, 1984