Blocks are good,
blocks are nice.
They come in wood
and even ice.
-
You'll see them with letters
(the blocks of learnin').
You'll see them near streets
(the blocks of turnin').
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And if anything can be learned,
it's that your blocks can't be earned!
-
Blocks can be good,
yes, they can be the norm.
I just hate it when
they come in writers' form.
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138,124 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Hi, SnazzyPencil! Lupa22 here for a review from Team Snow!
Let's jump in...
). I understand that this rhymes, and you want to keep the rhyme scheme, but rhymes can restrict your word choice and leave your reader somewhat empty.
Make it clear to the reader, please.
1) Your first stanza uses two generic adjectives that drive me crazy. "Good" and "nice" are ones that a writer tries to avoid (although I might use them in this review
2) The second stanza is quite creative, especially with the learnin'-turnin' rhyme. I know that I was nitpicky about the rhyme in number one, but it's very original here.
3) What do you mean by "blocks can't be earned?" Are they bought?
4) In the fourth stanza, you use good again. AAAAAGGHHHH. If your first and third lines of your stanzas don't rhyme, please change good to make it more descriptive. And in addition, how can blocks be the norm? I honestly don't know how that makes sense, either.
Overall, your poem is interesting, humorous, and light, which was what you were going for. It's good for that, but you see there are some nitpicks that I can find and that bother me a little bit. Keep writing and improving on YWS and happy Review Day!
XOX,
Lupa22
The rhyme scheme was very good, and the rhythm was too! I was a bit confused, and I don't really get the 10th line. What do you even mean by "blocks can't be earned?" This is a pretty good poem for one written at one in the morning, a bit confusing, but good. Also, there doesn't seem to be any spelling mistakes.
This is Kaos here for a review!
Cute and short poem but that's really the most of it for me here. It tackles the idea of writer's block in a fun manner, but I didn't really get anything else from it. It's one of those poems that ends up only building up to the end of the poem and that's one of the weaknesses here.
It's only a build-up to the punchline and most of everything else feels and seems like filler that doesn't really engage the reader. That's something else that I wanted to touch on here, is that this doesn't really have anything about it that we haven't seen before in the humor genre. I want more humor that kind of provokes thought because that's something I think that humor should do.
The rhyme in the poem kind of adds to the simplicity of it but it didn't really add anything to the poem for me. At the same time, it doesn't really take anything away from it. There's a lack of imagery though this could be accepted because for one, it rhymes and that tends to restrain the flow of imagery and description in a poem, and two, it's a humor poem in which that isn't really focused on. One thing I do want you to put more emphasis on is the line delivery because that's something rather important in humor. This was cute for what it was, the usual humor poem about writing, but I wanted a little more from it.
I hope I helped and have a great day!
Heya, SnazzyPencil! Casanova here to do a review for you!
Anyway, I'll be taking this piece by piece then doing an over view of it all, I hope that's okay!
This stanza seems to be formatted to fit the rhyme, instead of anything that's coherent. I would say you've written a poem about minecraft, as in the game you can have ice blocks and wood is in the shape of blocks. I would say good one, so props for that. I'll be taking this as a Minecraft poem.
Here you switch ideas, and although it's about blocks it seems to be different. Also, your rhyme scheme doesn't coincide with the rhyme scheme in the previous stanza, and that confused me a tad bit because I originally felt like you were going for strictly rhyme here. Anyway, on to the next one.
This seems like something one would say about money, and not about blocks. Are blocks a metaphor for something, or do you really just like blocks?
Here I'm having trouble grasping what you mean by writers form, and I feel like this was just to rhyme with norm, which could have been used as normal then you say,"when they're abnormal." which I think would work out better.
Overall I feel like this was a fun poem that you wrote late at night and serves no other purpose besides that, so props for that.
Anyway, I think that's all I have for this one and I hope I helped even a little.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on,
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
Thanks so much for taking the time to review my work! The block of ice was supppsed to be an ice cube, though I admit that probably was stretching it too far.
As for the "writers' form", I was trying to suggest writers' block, though that probably wasn't as clear as it could have been.
Once again, thanks for the review!
No problem!