z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Forest

by myjaspercat


I am wicked, corrupt and vile
You say.
A place where only those who don't
Follow the will of your gods are exiled.

Yet, my heart is filled with sorrow,
As each night I continue to hear the screams
Of your innocent children who
Wither and fade into dust.

My rivers run red with,
The blood of your infants-
And that of a young boy.
And each tree I birth,
Has grown from the firtilized soil of the dead.

I am wicked, corrupt and vile
You say.
A place where only those who don't
Follow the will of your gods are exiled.

But yet, the wind that rustles through my leaves,
Sings the song of sadness and heartache.
The spirits of your dead walk my land
Ever searching for home.

Their cries growing louder and louder
Haunting me in my sleep.
The sun does not shine through my canopy no longer.
For it to has become afraid of my core.

I am wicked, corrupt and vile
You say.
A place where only those who don't
Follow the will of your gods are exiled.

However you haven't seen true evil yet
Not until you look into yourself.
I am only what you make me,
So if I am evil then what is humanity?

A/N: Just so you all know, this poem was based of the book 'Things Fall Apart' and it is told from the persepective of the 'evil forest'. The poem itself is part of my narrative essay I have to write for mid-terms enjoy. :)


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18 Reviews


Points: 45
Reviews: 18

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Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:30 pm
Los3rLov3 wrote a review...



Wow.
This poem was amazing! It truly captures what is wrong about humanity and selfishness. I believe you did great in describing how the person felt. Something you could improve on is when someone is speaking put quotes around it. Then it will seem as if they are truly being spoken. Overall this was a great poem contain deep emotion. I've never read the book but it must be amazing considering your poem. I look forward to hopefully reading futrue poems of your's.

Have a nice day:)




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Points: 332
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Mon Feb 08, 2016 6:18 pm
emmalokidiaries wrote a review...



I love this! This sounds like a dream that I once had as well. I have never read the book, but I might have to now because of this. I love the word choice in this, it just gives me chills. and the last stanza of this is just amazing. The last one is my favorite part of the whole thing cause it's a good rap up to it and it still, to me, makes it linger. This is just... WOW! :)




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31 Reviews


Points: 264
Reviews: 31

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Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:51 pm
SpencerReidIsMyLife wrote a review...



myjaspercat,

I really like this piece! I haven't read this book, but I really like that you're doing it from a different prospective: a forest! I really don't see anything wrong with this poem, other that knowing it was a forest helped my understanding of the poem, by opening a window of clarity for me. Overall, this is a great piece of work, and i will be reading this book, "The Forest" because it just sounds so good!!!! Write on!

With Love,
SpencerReidIsMyLife




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8 Reviews


Points: 259
Reviews: 8

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Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:15 am
km1717 says...



I think this is a beautiful poem!

I haven't read the book that this poem is based off, but I think its such a cool idea that you're telling the story from the perspective of the forest. That's a very original, fresh, and creative idea, I love it.

Just a suggestion, but when you say: "I am wicked, corrupt and vile
You say.", I would add quotations around "...wicked, corrupt and vile," to make it seem that these words are actually being spoken :)

Other than that, the only other things I have to say about this poem is that you have a few misplaced commas, but that's it!

This is a truly eerie and beautiful poem, and it has me interested in the book! You did a wonderful job writing it :)

Good luck on your midterms, by the way! :)




User avatar
8 Reviews


Points: 259
Reviews: 8

Donate
Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:15 am
km1717 wrote a review...



I think this is a beautiful poem!

I haven't read the book that this poem is based off, but I think its such a cool idea that you're telling the story from the perspective of the forest. That's a very original, fresh, and creative idea, I love it.

Just a suggestion, but when you say: "I am wicked, corrupt and vile
You say.", I would add quotations around "...wicked, corrupt and vile," to make it seem that these words are actually being spoken :)

Other than that, the only other things I have to say about this poem is that you have a few misplaced commas, but that's it!

This is a truly eerie and beautiful poem, and it has me interested in the book! You did a wonderful job writing it :)

Good luck on your midterms, by the way! :)




myjaspercat says...


thank you so much, i am glad you enjoyed the poem.




while she was studying the ways of pasta he was studying the ways of the sword
— soundofmind