"Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well poetry is just the ash." -Leonard Cohan
A/N: Hey Guys, decided I would post another poem while I have time. I wrote this one a while ago, enjoy.
"You sit in silence
In a place filled with sorrow
You cross your legs and fold your hands
Concentrating on nothing in particular
Maybe someday you'll break the air with your voice
But until then
You are just like everyone
Just on person built in many forms
You ponder for the right word
Yet you cannot find it
Would it help if there was noise?
You guess not
The only thing now that can help is the pain
You concentrate on that now
The fiery burning pain
Running up and down your body.
You want to scream, but cant
You want to dance, but wont
Oh someday you'll break these chains
But until then you are just another somebody."
-Myjaspercat
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
I'll admit, at first I was having trouble getting into this as I could not find the flow. I think it came from my ineptitude at poetry, not anything you did. But then I went back and read it for the words and it was great. Telling a story in just a short poem is amazing, at least for me, so I congratulate you on that.
I really loved the last four lines: "You want to scream, but can't/You want to dance, but won't/Oh someday you'll break these chains/But until then you are just another somebody." Honestly it makes me think of me. It reminds me of how shy I am and all that jazz. I'm very glad that poetry in open to interpretation because for all I know that wasn't what this was about at all.
*smile* thank you. Actually I am a very shy person myself, I cry when I have to stand up in front of a class and present something, but through poetry I am able to be myself, I am free. So thank you.
Wow, this is an amazing poem! It's really thought-provoking and mature. This is the way I aspire to write but it'll definitely take me a while to reach this amazing standard. I will absolutely read more of your stuff, and I look forward to new things. Well done for your amazing writing, and maybe sometime we can collaborate and work on something together. It really addresses issues; I guess it depends on the reader, and how they process it, but I really love it. I don't have a single bad word to say about it. Maybe that it's too perfect and I am extremely jealous of your writing skills.
Lol, thank you, glad that you enjoyed it. Bye the way love your profile pic, go lord of the rings! (in my opinion one of the best book and movie series ever.)
You are a very mature writer with full potential . All you write has a true feel to it . You really ought to be a writer . But I think you ought to write why you are sitting in silence. But whatever it is great , The way you write, seriously !
thank you, glad that you like it.