“Only the dead have seen the end of war.” ― Plato I’m just an artist. A poet, a writer, a singer Just a girl with an insane lifelong dream. Who’s just trying to find her place in a world Where the future is hard to see. Where every news broadcast and internet feed is Filled with the same story: Cruelty, Violence, Mockery… repeat. I can’t voice an opinion without criticism Can’t debate without being shot down Because I am told that unless I voted I don’t have a right To speak, My first amendment has been taken away from me. I’m just a student, Who is trying to understand The concept between right and wrong. While I’m being told that kindness and compassion is the right thing As we sit back and watch thousands of people die because We can’t trust them enough to let them into our country. That the starving child who carries only a doll Or the tired mother who lost her baby Or the wounded elderly Might, potentially threaten our home Because they lost theirs. Yet at the same time Inside our own boarders Properties are being damaged, People are fighting their neighbors, Communities gunned down All because we can’t agree. And god forbid if your Black or white Muslim or Christian Man, or Female Democrat or Republican Apart of the LGBTQ Community Because women are losing their rights, Minorities are losing their freedom Children are losing their lives America’s not what it used to be, We’re not ‘Great Again’… But, I’m just a girl Just a student Just seventeen Too young to truly understand, right |
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,745 Literary Works • 672,690 Reviews
Hey !! Ejay here for a quick review!!
To begin with, this poem was absolutely amazing!!! I loved it. The way in which you projected your thoughts and emotions is simply awe-inspiring . I know that right now America is nowhere near "Great Again" , and your poem , at a time like this, serves as a dutiful spokesperson for those who are silently suffering . I just felt humbled after reading this .
Thank you very much
Keep Writing mate ... the journey has just begun . You have a lot of potential .
Cheers !!
Bye !
Regards,
Ejay
Thank you, I'm glad that you liked my poem
LadyShadows here to review the poem you did!
This...Is...Too...Beautiful. I can't put it into the right words. You have pointed out all the evil in America, or maybe in society in general. This maybe a dark poem, but this is still beautiful. It's beautiful because of the evil you pointed out, (like said previously) and as I can tell, you put your heart into it. You maybe a student and seventeen, but I can tell that you aren't blind.
Now as far as the poem goes I noticed the poem is slightly choppy, pretty much meaning that there are long parts and there are short 'stumpy' ones. Be careful with that. I'm not very picky with that sort of thing but some others can be, like teachers and editors. So just a heads up kind of deal. And when it says: Too young to truly understand, right... If you wanted to you could have simply put a question mark there. I know you're not stupid, but even in poetry it doesn't limit to just periods and commas. Just letting you know.
But overall, you did a great job. I loved this piece. Keep writing!
Thank you for the review, I appreciate it.