“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.”
― Gabriel García Márquez
There's this hole in my memory
starting from the moment I was born-
until about first grade.
Sound pretty insignificant right?
Yet if you think about it,
that's about six to seven years of my life.
Now I'm not saying that
during that time I was completely mindless
or that nothing really happened to me,
because I know it did.
I still get Deja Vu
that I can't explain.
I have scars and pictures
To document and mark my time on earth,
things I made
things I owned.
There are stories that my family members swap
but they're all memories of moments of my life
that I, don't remember.
And it scares me a little.
Not the kind of scared you get when
you watch a horror movie in the middle of the night,
or when you walk down a dark street alone,
but the kind of scared you feel
when you think about your future.
Or at least that's how it is for me.
And I don't know why it scares me,
I just know that it does.
I know that for six or seven years of
my life, I have no recollection of
any of the events
that conspired on my part.
Almost as if I didn't exist at all.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
Hey! Kazey here for a review!
So, for the most part, I liked this poem. i felt it was almost conversational, like we were in a room together just chatting away, not that I was reading poetry. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that you have a very casual and comfortable voice in this poem, and it's refreshing. There's no pretentiousness (coming from me, a very pretentious poet). I do however, have a few nitpicks.
"I still get Deja Vu"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe déjà vu needs to be capitalised. It also needs accents, although I don't particularly think that's too important. TTo me, capitalising Deja Vu makes it seem very important, and I faltered in my reading a little because of that.
I also don't like the use of six or seven years. To me, it seems too vague. It's not a strong enough image in my mind for me to be drawn into that aspect, and in poetry, each word should draw a person in. i personally think it would fair better as just "six years" or "seven years".
Anyhow, a very good piece and I encourage you to continue writing!
~Kazey
First of all I would like to say that I completely understand why you are scared,they idea is scaring me too and I can imagine how hard it must for you.
"As if I didn't exist at all."
Almost afraid nothing you know is real,like you don't remember the start so you're not sure about the present,but maybe from the pictures and the stories you recreate the beginning.
I wish you all the success in your life,good luck.